Colouring Lives...

2009-11-05T23:56:00.002+08:00

OK! I've switched to TUMBLR! Please follow me on dumbdumbwantsgumgum.tumblr.com!!!

And all along I thought no one wants to comment on my posts! It has been the stupid skin!!! Blogger sucks! LOL!

WOAH!

2009-11-05T11:28:00.002+08:00

Hi everyone! Bet you've been checking up on my blog everyday! Well there's so much stuff happening yet so little time to blog it all down. And I'm not busy with FB applications like Farmville or Jackpot Slots or ANYTHING OK! Yes. I was truly busy, busy with LIFE!

Just last month, we had an exercise in camp. It was a good experience, we learn from mistakes and also we are able to feel the atmosphere of a higher threat level. However, there are some dark areas of the ARMY which I'm not suppose to say. So if you want to know, ASK ME. I will gladly spill the beans.

What is more amazing is what November brought about so far. In just a mere 5 days, I have seen people going through the roughest time of their lives and also unveil some what the true nature of people you call 'Friends'.

It all happened one day when I was doing duty with Royston, a guy in NS whom I can connect to quite well. In fact there's quite a handful. Haha. So we were just talking about random stuff and then suddenly another friend JK came down to our area. We were stunned. He said he just broke up. A girlfriend of 3 years. A relationship that everyone thought could last. A future they discussed so far even towards marriage. A bomb so big, HE BROKE DOWN. The reason : She can't commit. Just 2 weeks ago, another guy also broke up with his girlfriend, same reason. That got me thinking. How can girls just say they can't commit when it's always the guys (who we thought) had the 'roving eyes' ? Is it about the freedom of flirt? Is it the pain of being tied down? Is it the minimal possessive attitude that even a boyfriend is not entitled to? What's more, she's overseas, it all happened through a phone call. Now, this reminds me of another relationship where it ended with both parties in different lands, only it ended through an email. Does it ring a bell, Liesel? The funny thing in this entire serious relationship is that, she's gotten herself another guy already. She said, ' I'm not serious about him, I just want something new.' The contradicting statement that lead us to wonder why she stayed with that friend of mine for 3 years.

So the close friends were all trying to cheer him up as his depressed state is infectious. And we just went Kbox last night(remind me why I stopped going there? It was so much fun! And damn, he can SING!) It was ballads of sad and emo songs, one after another. He was close to tears every now and then. Even though the room was dark, the shimmer in his eyes can't be wrong. So I would like to know girls better, understand how they think, just when I thought I had grasped the concept, it changed again. So please, if any of you out there can tell me the reason, maybe I can enlighten that friend of mine and put him out of his misery. Thanks.

A Nice Guy

2009-10-03T22:17:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, it pays to be a nice guy. Well, for me, I've ALWAYS been nice. =D It must be all the good karma I've accumulated everyday.

Something good happened to me recently, actually quite a few things. It was just yesterday where I decide to wake up early before my duty and so went to the CREW room to watch some tv. As RPs, we eat out-rations, aka packet meals. So someone has to go collect from the delivery truck when it arrives at HQ. It just so happens that the only another shift mate and I were available to help out, not counting the sgts. And so, without any hesitations, I went to take the meals, however that shift mate had some smart comment to say before he trudge his way down to help. I feel that this chore is part of my job, I mean afterall, the food is for us. So I don't know why he has so much to say when in the first place, his duties are much lighter than the rest of the shift. And so, a sgt heard that comment and was a furious he gave that mate a good bloodwashing scolding. This sgt has never gotten angry for the whole 3 months I've known him. Well that's the part where I suppose I have accumulated the good karma.

The part where the good karma comes around, starts here. When I was doing my duty at this horrible place where I'm suppose to stand alone for 6 hours with no forms of entertainment or food(but at 6pm, all the superiors left and so did the rules), the sgt I mentioned just now, brought me a can of COKE. He walked all the way from HQ to my place just to pass me a can of coke. I was damn happy! This is the first time I enjoyed a can of coke with much delight. I'm a PEPSI person. And that's not all, 1 hour later, 2 shift mates brought food for me! It was the leftover food from the party officers had every friday! This is the first time they brought food to any person doing duty, because in the past, it was always left in the pantry for those who wants to eat to help themselves. Not to mention the 2 people that brought the food were not close friends of mine, merely acquaintances. I thought my train of good luck had ended until no sooner than later, one of the lao jiao came to have a lil chat with me. He went jogging and decided to drop by and talk to me! So we talked for half an hour in which if he didn't come, I could be talking to the wall lizards or my iTouch. And hence, within that 6 hours, which was suppose to be the most boring 6 hours of duty, so many events happened to my favour. I was deeply in gratitude to these people who have made my duty so much more enjoyable! I do wonder if it was planned or just pure unexplainable luck.

The weather was totally in favour with me as well. Right before the above mentioned duty, there was a slight drizzle and hence my duty was not as warm as it should have been. Then the next day, when I'm doing a different place the morning sun was blocked by grey clouds with enough wind to keep me chilled. Even my buddy doing duty with me said that it's rare to get such nice weather.

I've learnt to love doing my duty. In fact I didn't dread that I got this vocation in the first place. I do not mind the monotonous lifestyle and waking up at wee hours to only stand at an allocated spot without any form of entertainment for 6 hours. In fact, I would like the time alone where I can think through things and well, reflect. I try to tell others to start looking positive for the duty or else you'll hate doing duty and time just seems to slow down. For me, time is not a problem, more of fatigue. If I have enough energy and the fun people to do duty with, I don't even mind standing 9 or 12 hours. I just have to have some perks to look forward to, even if not, I'll just create my own perks. Haha.

Incomprehensible.

2009-09-06T17:18:00.000+08:00

This is going to be a hate post.

It was a fine SUNDAY. Rainy morning, nice cool temperature for one to be out. Yet this day has to be destroyed by someone I live with.

We decided to go have dinner outside, BUFFET style. Then my brother had to go 'WL, now then say. I need to study finish one more chapter. I have exams for the next 3 days.' At that point, there was exactly 3 hours to our time of departure. I wonder how long he'll take to finish that extra chapter. Also given that he's quite smart to begin with, it shouldn't have mattered whether he studied that chapter. That is provided that all the tall tales he's been telling me were true, of him acing tests that he never really studied for. We tried to convince him that he can study somemore at night. But no, he didn't give any leeway. He said he must score well, even though it's just a prelim and that he has the mindset of an elitist, LOSING IS NOT AN OPTION. He wants to maintain his position of 4th in class. If not, he'll feel ultimate embarrassment with the fear of being stigmatised as a LOSER for even dropping one mark for his overall grades. Such fierce competition in his class and I wonder why he does not even has the mental courage to step out of the house for a DINNER.

And just about 5 minutes ago, the dinner was called off. My parents went out to eat and having my hopes dashed, I have no energy to even move 2 steps and give him a tight slap(I believe slapping a guy is ultimate embarrassment, not losing your position in class). So I'm surviving on some snacks at home having built up the hunger for the supposedly buffet dinner. And guess wad, the sarcarsm hadn't end. He went on to say 'Wah, I was just taking photos of my notes so that I can go there read on my handphone. Now I have to delete all of them.' Tell me, what should I do?

REVIVED!

2009-08-24T23:15:00.000+08:00

Ok. So I finally changed my blogskin. The old one was nice but hard to navigate eh?! Oh well this is simple enough and simplicity is good, sometimes. Haha.

So many people blogging, how could I be left out?!??! I'm so cut off from the world with my RP course going on where I have to stay in lah. But, have no fear my beloved FANS! I'm BACK! Hopefully I'll be free enough to blog often to satisfy the unsatiable hunger of my wonderful READERS. Haha. given that I'll be doing guard duty where I have LOTS of time to just stand there, spaced out and think about useless, random stuff that can become blog materials. Soon, my posts will be about super random and useless stuff that has no relevant to my life or whatsoever.

Army has changed me(did I mention this before? Nvm) in a way I tried not to be. VULGAR. I tried so hard to restrain myself but the f in pffffts always comes out. Oh well, accept it people! My F means no harm!!! So dun be surprised if I burst out in vulgarities one day while I am laughing at a joke or what not.

I want to earn more money. I seriously do not give a F about academics(It has started!) I don't want any degree when in a few years time it will just expires like any gardenia BREAD. I want a money-making method that can sustain my expenses plus the enjoyment of having INCOME. Income that I call my own, without having to wreck my brains in reading up ridiculous amounts of notes and writing freaking long essays just to get some nutty professor to read and give comments like KEN LEE. Anyone interested in joining me to start a business?!?! It can be anything!!! Haha. You provide the capital, I do the market research and together we earn BIG BUCKS.

My base is so fake. It has the whole COMPLETE SET I tell you. The gate is so nice, newly built, with one of the better equipments SAF can afford. But inside there are those gates that seems to have rusted and with any push, it'll vapourize into grey powder. Then there's those new buildings they said to catch up with what "3G army" SAF is (trying to) becoming. But inside, we have rotting pieces of wood they call furniture and sponges not for washing but to sleep on, with fans that could have worked better in a tornado. Then comes the people. People who smiles and greet their superiors like every greeting they give, they get extra income. And then there are those that likes the tastes of other's boots/ass and gains 200% energy and gives 200% effort when they do work in front of the superiors. Not to forget there are those that gives a heck to anything that happens to the world but themselves. Terrorist can come bomb their homes but their finger cannot be injured by one of the small harmless splinters on the wooden poles for fear of LETHAL viral infections. So they can't do much work for fear of dying any minute now due to sudden cardiac arrest or something. Finally, there's people like me. Living a fake life with a fake personality only to reveal their true form when we are out of ARMY. It's so fake, I don't want to talk about it anymore.

I think facebook is super laggy. There's so much problems with the applications, to which I'm hooked on these days. Sooner or later, they will start asking for donations or something to upgrade their server. Or maybe there will be influx of MORE advertisements to earn revenue. The most extreme will be a NEW socializing website popped out.

The world is so fake, I smell fragrance from the artificial flowers.

2009-06-15T22:34:00.002+08:00

Congratulations!!!

Firstly, you are able to navigate to my 'Broops' page!!!
Secondly, I POPed!!!
Thirdly, I got my SAFRA membership + free gift!

POP was a ritual one must go through after completing NS. Note, it is a ritual because there's so much regimental stuff to do and prepare, plus the false front and energy we radiate and also the dramatic ending where everyone that went through the ritual will come out a different man.

Despite being in the entity they call National Service, I must say, it has not yet instill any sense of patriotism in me yet. I still maintain my stand on it being the world's most dangerous job! Even at this moment, the news just reported on a REGULAR's DEATH in taiwan. Apparently he died in his sleep or something. It's regretful that one should die at such a young age, but worse when he died in his sleep without any explanations and the worst of it all is that he signed on....and died.

Block leave of 10 days is a PRIVILEDGE, I agree. And like all enjoyment, it is shortlived. However, I have rested to my fill and am quite ready for some PT. HAHA. I hope I get posted to some super slack unit, I mean who doesn't? Except for those people who 'aim high' and wants to 'make something out of the 2 years in NS'. That is what I would call re-assurance of wasting 2 years of their lives.

I changed my blogskin because the previous image was removed. I liked that one! But this one's nice too lah.

All That Remains

2009-05-31T13:46:00.002+08:00

8 days left. And I hope I won't ever step foot on that island anymore!!! It's such a weird feeling to feel cut off from the world out there. Week by week pass by so quickly what I thought were new movies weren't showing in the cinemas anymore. Each weekend I see new copies of 8 days which I can't be bothered to read anymore. As compared to last time, where I would have engulf the entire magazine within hours of purchase. Synopses and all.

I feel a change. A change for the better or for the worse. I do not know. But I feel a change in behaviour, in mindset, in me. Something's different, that I'm sure. Certain times in camp, I would reflect upon the word I said, the things I did and the way I felt. I wondered if I truly behaved the same as I did in the past. Many said that NS would change a man. Afterall, it is a new environment, I interact with new people and I'm presented with new situations. New experiences and new emotions with fill me, but will they change me? I'm afraid they did. I still can't grasp the change in me, but I hope it's not for the worse. If so, do tell me. It's always harder to observe oneself than to observe others.

I need new stuff in my life. Haha. New clothes, new shoes, new bag and new CASH. I want to see the number rising exponentially. Seriously, I'm considering investments. Haha. Maybe play with stocks or something, the idea of earning money with your butt resting comfortably is so attractive! I would also want to be my own boss, to start an income without the need for degrees or any other pieces of paper. It has always been my wish to be an entrepreneur but to be a successful one, it just seems to tedious. Bahh.. I complete NS first then see how. I am already in my 'heck-care' mode. I take training like meals, I take pain like candy. Life is just so sweet.

I Fell In Love Once Again...

2009-05-16T17:11:00.003+08:00

Yes. Into the love river I went, into the deep valley I fell, into the gaze I saw! MY MAGGI MEE!!! I fell in love with instant noodles again!!! Can't be a girl right?! I hardly see the opposite gender on that repulsive island lah! And all are either aunties or the weird weird 'unclassified' walking around.

The relationship went like this. It was after some tests that will determine whether one has the leadership qualities. Then it was in the evening, the sun was setting, sky partly cloudy and cool sea breeze blowing.

At the beach, on the sand, came my friend.

Holding a box of maggi, with a smile that never ends.

Passing out the yellow packs to one another,

We started cooking, reminded of our mothers.

Despite the sand, despite the bugs,

Each mouthful was a heartfelt hug.

We cooked the first, we opened the second.

Ate it like MAMEE, enjoying every second.

Then came the rest, we were so stuffed.

A lone man sat quietly, who was usually tough.

He peered into the sunset, with longing eyes.

We felt a tug, of the worldly ties.

We saw our home, from where we sat.

At the very island, our hearts met.

The scenery was so beautiful, it was one of the rare moments I wished I had a DSLR at the very instant. Then again, the picture was captured in my heart, because I will never forget that moment where everyone was silent and looking in the same direction, with a commander sitting in front, staring into the distance. He was unusually quiet that night, so was everyone. Because it was the closest feeling of home we have ever felt ever since we came onto that island.

It's been 2 months. I can't believe I got so far without falling out of any training. Then again, there's 2 years left. So I shall just count the days as they go by and maintain my positivity through it all. I can't wait for 10th june. I will get my well-deserved rest and go on a short holiday, out of Singapore. All the propaganda inside is rotting my brain man!

Some people say the book out is short. 2 days is not enough. But I say it's how you spent the time that determines how 'short' it truly is. If I were to spend every minute appreciating the rest time I get, it will be quite long. But if I were to spend the time away and waste it, it is of course very short. Hence I like to stay at home sometimes to sit down and be thankful that I'm resting at home. Until the time comes where I have to go in, I cannot deny the feeling of dread and sianness but still I had my rest! So no complains and go in obediently! Haha.

I lost my temper yesterday! First time I was so angry it made me full. I shan't explain what happen but I do believe that I have reached my boiling point for some people. I must say that it's quite difficult to get me angry especially now because everyone is already very tired from training to even get angry. Hence that person better not step on my nerves anymore or I will not hesitate to REPORT to the higher-ups. And no, I wont go and fight the person, not so stupid. I believe these people will get their just desserts one day. HAHA.

I Gave Escapism A Chance

2009-04-26T12:35:00.002+08:00

I thought I couldn't make it. It was tough, mentally and physically. I had 2 attacks somemore and it didn't make me any stronger everytime I overcame it. It started out bad, with negative comments from the very pillar of support we thought we had. Then it became better as the exercise were done with ease. As I have always mentioned, I am lucky to get such understanding superiors who did not take any chance to punish us at all. But near the end, is where complications arised. Complications with my health. An unknown attack, unknown reason, unknown source. What happened? Why did it happen? What will it become? I hope it's not something serious. Or it might get into something so serious my status becomes lowered and I will land in my dream unit!

It's going to be labour day soon! A long weekend that I need to recuperate. Yes, it might not have been so tough physically, but mentally, it drained me. I just hope I get extra training and not guard duty. Oh well... It's going to be june soon! POP POP POP POP POP!!! I can't wait man. HALFWAY THROUGH ALREADY!!! After labour day, there's no more holiday le lah. SIAN! Shall try to survive the rest in one piece. By the way, for field camp, I lost damn lot of blood. Not from injury but to the insects. SAND FLIES! Freakingly disgusting vile creatures of the night. so small yet leave such big itchy bumps that will take 2 weeks to heal! Imagine an itch all over your body for 2 whole weeks! I can just die from the itch! I have COUNTLESS BITES. Some in cluster, some form a line, some form shapes. I have a diamond on my leg!

Sorry, took 5 minutes to scratch my entire body before I continued typing.

I want to do so much. Army restricts my freedom. Haiz. Too tired to post anything more le. In fact, I don't really know what's happening on the outside world now. All I know is, TEKONG. Like the fatalities and such. HAHA.

I Forgot To Take It Off.

2009-04-04T09:28:00.002+08:00

I'm back! For the 2nd time. First bookout did not leave me time to blog and update but this time round, I have a full day of free time!!! I cannot blog anything about NS because I will get punish. So if you wanna know, give me a ring or something. Haha.

A false front is what one needs to survive. One look that gives whatever the audience wants. That is a place where many people put on their MASKS(yes, it's MASK again!)! Never to be left out, I put on mine for show, for leaders, for the 'correct' attitude. A smile, a stare and a loud voice. Survival in the physical level is nothing as compared to that in the psychological warfare thats going on. Stabbings, acting and invisibility are skills one needs to be equipped with in order to stay alive. I cannot deny having used one of the skills mentioned but definitely not the first, unless fate leaves me no choice. In a place where bonds have not taken roots, it is not criminal to put one's self before others. The time is not ripe yet, for me to be sarcrificed for there is no reason worthy enough to do so. When cornered, the cat bares its claws! I am trying to utilize the last skill and stay low while time slowly pass by, until then, low key actions are my game. Yet, with such a flashy name that is so related to what concerns me now, I find it hard to do so. The whole group knows me yet, I know less than half of them. With no responsibility, there will be no eyes upon me. Stand out lesser and people will forget.

Of course there are people who aim to achieve, to please and to climb up the social ladder. Such people do not concern me as they can climb all they want while I stay at the very bottom. Yet there are the certain few who likes to step on those at the bottom in order to climb up. Stepping on fellow comrades to achieve their selfish ambition is what I condemn. Not only do they reach out to those at higher grounds for a helping hand, they make use of those down under and then dispose of them when useless. Such imbeciles needs no mercy when the time for the trial comes.

I realised I am cut off from the mass media while on the island. I only get newspapers when they provide it. And I don't really read them nor do I have that much time too. So whenever I come back to mainland, I see new advertisements, new posters and new programs. It's like a whole new world once again! Now I partly understand how it feels like to live without technology for a week or so.

I must say, the new life has changed me quite a bit. In the thinking level, I got dumber, slower in thinking and quite stupid. Especially so when I put on the turtle shell. This is quite apparent in all JC batches because even our sergeants agree. In the physical level, I got darker(if not, there must be something wrong with my skin), and thinner!!! But my weight never change. I am sure I got thinner because I FEEL THINNER! Hahaha. It's hard to say it in words.

Some people say I am a changed man, I say, I just forgot to take off my mask. That's all.

Till I Return.

2009-03-12T10:58:00.003+08:00

My last post, hopefully not. HAHA. Yesterday was the day I last washed my wonderfully long hair. Longest I ever had in my life! Well at least one dream's fulfilled. And so I shall become a monk for the next 2 years following the practice : Endurance. Meditation is in need in case I go insane. Or maybe even medication.

I think I am prepared for lots of things to come. Some things I look forward to, some things I pray will never happen. In any case, I feel prepared, mentally. Yet, who will know, until I truly experience it myself, to claim such readiness is still too early.

I have signed up to retake my maths this year. I hope I am able to score way better. In fact, I don't even think I have the time to study for it. But my kan chiong mother hurried me to take it, and claims I will have the time.

I believe there is always a path to take. The only thing that matters is the distance. How long should I walk to reach my goal, my destination? The shortest way is indeed the best, but if it was way beyonds my means, proving to be a tough and tiresome journey, I may not even finish walking down the path. Even if the long way means looping, turning or even some detour, as long as I am able to reach my destination in the end, it is a path to consider. Hence, I am positive about reaching my goal as I will not stay stagnant and do nothing about it. It may take some time, but I'm determined to reach my goal in the end.

I think I found the path to eternal youth. Because today, I went back to my Primary school look. I wonder if they will believe me when I tell them I'm underaged, and sue SAF for enlisting me. HAHA.

Which Level Do You Belong To?

2009-03-05T21:50:00.002+08:00

Today, I shall discuss the depth of Human Nature. I asked myself, ' How deep/shallow am I?'. I couldn't give a definite answer. A politically correct answer would be, 'It depends on the situation'. That was my immediate answer. Until I took some time to truly think about it and found out the REAL depth of my human heart.

The superficiality of humans was not the fault of our intelligence. In Mother Nature, it is apparent when a female species look out for mates with the best characteristics. Such as colours, strength, stamina and even size. Hence we can blame it on our beastial nature when one wants to look their best in everything they do. Yet the reasons for wearing the best is different in both situations. Humans, nevertheless, have varied demands and needs that have surfaced more often ever since our evolution. Therefore to supply our thirst for perfection, there's plastic surgery and additional materials like clothes and accessories. However, all these are just skin deep, does one even ask for perfect morals and inner beauty? How can perfect be used to measure inner beauty when it is all inside? Should one even be proud of being 'beautiful' inside when that is just skin deep? Such contraversy of the human mind.

Ok crap aside, I worte all that because firstly, I went ice-skating. Secondly, I watched Marley & Me. Today, the rink is crowded with lots of 'geniuses' and lots of casual skaters. Geniuses are these little kids who can glide along the ice just as gracefully as a ghost can over land during the lunar seventh month period. Well they have 'PROGRAMMES' in which they do their FLYs and JUMPs and SWINGs and SPIRALs. Competition period being near, the stress can be felt being emitted by the coaches and the parents. Parents being so fake until they give applauses and praises to the other parties. Such smiles were so sharp they are able to SCULPT the ice. Marley & Me is such a heartfelt movie! At first I thought it will be some plain story that wouldn't even be able to touch my heart. Yet, the tears in the movie brought out some of my own. Bonds that lie deep inside the human heart is what truly makes one alive or even HUMAN.

The eagle is one who looks deep into the water but only scratches the surface. Nature has lots to teach humans, such as looking deep inside a person and only hurting what's on the surface.

A Long While Back...

2009-02-25T21:20:00.002+08:00

Ok. Had my super belated birthday dinner yesterday night. At a familiar restaurant called Thaipan. Thank you my friends, despite your busy schedules and also tight wallets.

I have rediscovered the joy of reading! Well, I owe it to Choon Tee who suggested eating at Galilee for the student promotion. By the way, the student promotion is like super worth it! The main course is delicious and will really make one full, only $4.90! A can of coke included. Not to mention the relaxation of reading while eating your meal slowly. Today, went to bedok library with Yini(yes, just me and her...) to EAT and READ. We found books we like and I borrowed this book entitled "Do You Know The Real You?". I wanted to borrow something on psychology so I can read people's action and understand other's mindsets. However, there's no 'Dummy's Guide To Psychology' So I settled for a case study book on Mindreading. Apparently, it is all about the movements and actions and the subconscious mind. Even an idiot knows that! Anyway, my point is, there's this section on how 'hot' or 'cold' a human is! I was judging the temperature of USUALS as well! So it means I have a gift in psychology! Maybe I shouldn't take Tourism and opt for Psychology instead. Haha. Shall try to finish that book and assume my rightful profession of Dr Tony Tan. MUAHAHAHA.

The Point Is...

2009-02-16T13:42:00.003+08:00

HOHOHO! This is at the underwater world. So cool right! Can you imagine if someone were to prepare the proposal of his life to his long time girlfriend by keeping an aquarium and growing underwater plants around this heart-shaped metal frame and until none of the metal can be seen then he will propose. A test of love because it needs responsibility, care and patience.

I read the newpaper on Valentine's day and obviously there will be articles on some love story or something, then there's this guy who is the same age as me, 19, just finished A levels as well, going to confess to this 18 yr old girl. He folded 999 stars and 99 roses for 'the girl of his dreams' and that he has been in love with her for a year despite knowing her for 5 years. Normally, I would find that action as a sweet thing to do. However the point is that the article never mentioned the girl as his girlfriend! And he has the courage to plaster his face on the article with his creations. If the girl was with him in the first place then it's not a wasted effort but he mentioned she was a shy girl and so with his face plastered on the article, who wouldn't know?! Or maybe the 'shy' part was actually a cover for him not wanting to risk the failure of confession and gets criticisms.

And just yesterday I read a report on this ridiculous incident of a 13 year old dad, Alfie Patten. He impregnated his girlfriend, 15, during a stayover in which he had sex for the first time. This is totally insane. He looks 8-10, has no idea what is 'financially' nor how much diapers costs. But, you can't put the blame on him alone, his girlfriend must also be so immature not to understand the situation as well. Not to mention his dad who has fathered nine other children with dunno how many women. He's with a 21 year old girl now who was his stepdaughter's friend. He has quite a few children that are older than the new 'mum'. A screwed up family I would say.

The world is like really going to end! (sorry aaron!) The weather is crazy! The ONE above has shown his wrath!!! By letting us feel the HEAT of HELL! I hate this kind of still humid air that is like hot as well. The heat is radiating and my head is groggy sometimes. And I did not drink alcohol! I was expecting some heavy storm when the sky turned dark but a storm did not come, just a small drizzle that adds on to the humidity when the sun came back out. Right about now, I miss the chill of Harbin...

Here, I would like to thank the usuals! For getting me the wondrous present which I wholeheartedly fancy! And of course the dinner at Soup Spoon with the thickest soup I've ever drank left me full to the brim! And spending time + money for the 19th year I am alive. Haha.

Once the path is split, will they ever cross?

The Memories

2009-02-10T22:41:00.010+08:00

The bestest experience at Harbin was the skiing and the slope. You get to sit in this tube and then ride down the slope that has a fall of angle around 70 degrees. The adrenalin rush as you slide down the slope beats all summertime activities. However, there's a special moment, even for the onlooker from the side, as when the tube is slowing down, it brushes up a swirl of snow flakes from the ground. The sight was very mystical.

I look and I look. Travelling on the train now has given me more things to look at. 2 years ago, I am able to look at Chung Cheng students and not being aware of myself too much, afterall they don't know I am from the same school. Now, I can gladly place my glare on both MJC and cchms students. Looking at how much the uniform has changed and reminiscing about the times where I would go home with different companies. I would start to question their actions, way of wearing the uniform and also their attitude in my mind. Criticises and more criticises. It is so hard to find just one student that seems to be a better role model than myself! That is of course what comes from my point of view, as a graduate.

I cannot really imagine how the future will be like, without a signpost or something that will point out the way for me. In which the signpost will reveal itself very soon. Right now, I am starting to feel the weight of 2 years of education. Everything will be decided on that very day, or as jiemin said, most people might change decisions on that very day. Smooth is the way I want to walk, ease is the life I aim to live, simplicity is the best I hope to get.

The day has come when farewell is said.

The day has come when tears are to be shed.

The days we spent were left to fate.

The days went past when we love to hate.

Each time I cried, my tears landed on your shoulder.

Each time you cried, your tears landed on my heart.

Each time I laughed, you never want to be the joker.

Each time you laughed, I never want to be far apart.

Every night I hope to hear your voice, even if you will never speak to me.

Every night I hope to smell your shirt, even if you were far away from me.

Every night I hope to see your face, even if you cannot make it.

Every night I hope to kiss you goodnight, even if you just left me.

Every night I hope to feel your love, even if you cannot be with me.

Every night I hope to dream about you, even if it's not reality.

Maybe it applies to you, or maybe not.

Just what I felt, just my thoughts.

Hope you won't stop holding on,

An end is just a new beginning.

So be strong and move on,

Because, life still has new meanings.

NEW SKIN!

2009-02-05T22:58:00.001+08:00

Wahh... Got a new skin man! I like this one! Couldn't find nice one with nice fishes! Hahahaha. Enjoy!

2009-02-04T11:48:00.003+08:00

EAT!

In China, you are bound to eat JIAOZI! I had 2 jiaozi meals during my trip, in which over 10 different types of jiaozi were on the table. The boy on the left IS NOT ME! It's my cousin ok! Yet, his face is what depicts my 'wake-up-face' everyday. Haha.

I was thinking of my future path, aka UNI course. Then tourism and hospitality caught my eye. It sounds interesting enough plus the possibility of going overseas for exchange trips. Then I took it further and thought of the major I might continue to take. There were different paths and I have no idea what meant what. However, marketing seems as interesting! Maybe I can go do market research or something and go all over the world to review hotels and then submit my report. WAHHH!!! That is a FANTASY man!

Some people just know how to make others envious. High pay, little work. High metabolism HUGE appetite. Dream jobs of OTHERS! One such person would be Xin Yi! Yes. I know of 2 other people who would like your job. And me, I just want the CASH. So I can travel to where you told me last night and indulge in my own world. I would be prepared to the brim with all the equipment I ever heard of and live out my fantasy of that since young. Of course, up till now, I'm still dreaming but that is what allows me to hold on and work towards it. Otherwise, I will die with regrets. REALLY.

I do believe dolphins, as a scientist said, 'are geniuses trapped in a fish'. They are able to PREPARE their food before consuming it!!! They break the cuttlebone(only peice of bone in squid) and remove the ink just by using their snout! And they are able to name themselves just by whistles! Please tell me how many different types of whistles humans are able to hear? Of course they have a much larger hearing range and so it is only applicable to them. But to have the intelligence of gaining an identity, makes their intelligence level comparable or even out-think that of the humans. At least they do not go around destroying their own environment. If I were to be reborn, I want to be a dolphin! Or some fish in the ocean, but not that of tuna, sardine or some ugly and tiny fish. HAHA.

2009-01-21T17:33:00.002+08:00

SNIP SNAP!

Can you see that this is a SNOW ANGEL?!?! Ok, I failed badly because the snow wasn't that thick enough! But still, I gave it a try, lied down and start swinging my limbs like an idiot. The end product - TADAH! Haha.

There were 2 events today that are significant enough to be mentioned on my blog!

Firstly, my brother kena caught by his discipline master for long hair! It was just his fringe and he tio cut by the DM lah! HAHA. The worse thing is, he didn't cut bowl cut, nor bangs but a uneven shape that looks like it was bitten off by some animal or something! Tell me if it isn't ugly. Actually, he didn't tell me, I kinda figured it out myself. Because when I reached home, he was peering into all the mirrors at home and adjusting his fringe. I was busy keeping groceries and so only notice him being vain all of a sudden. That's when I thought he wanted a haircut for the upcoming new year! So I took a look at him and then I saw the HIDEOUS 'bite-mark'! Haha. So he just went to cut and he looks normal again. A slight drama in my home! So funny! SNIP went the hair!

Next, ANOTHER RI GUY DIED!!! Major news ok! Just within one week, 2 RI students died lor! And one day before the first death, this stoooooopid scholar committed suicide. The scholarship is like damn wasted can! He is 25, just returned from America, still on the scholarship. Future pillar of Singapore. Found a china girl he likes, whom is in love with his good friend! So when he was rejected, he jumped right in front of her flat. Looks aside, there wasn't anything to die for what! Just a rejected confession and he has to jump to his death?! Where is the IQ when you need them? Doesn't he knows how to calculate the probabilities of the situation?! Haiz. I propose that scholarship interviews comes with an EQ tests lah! That way, the funds won't be wasted on this kind of thing. And back to RI. The first death is this 12 year old guy who got a pretty damn high score of 280++ for his PSLE. He died after playing badminton. No, it wasn't like the Steve Austin, the shuttlecock did not pierce his heart. He just died lor! The life of a fit and smart youngster is just gone, like that. The recent one, today, is about this 14 year old RI student as well. He died from ACUTE MYELOID LEUKAEMIA. Being acute, it acted fast and soon he had a brain hemorrhage. The symptoms are like bruises and having just returned from a 5 day OBS course, it did not seem peculiar. So another life was just lost. SNAP went the lives of 3 smart people, 2 of which were grevious loss, and one being an act of stupidity.

Some pure, some innocent, some hasty, some reckless. Ways of dying have just increased. May the souls rest in peace and so I dedicate my (ugly)snow angel to them!

2009-01-19T22:15:00.003+08:00

BROKE!

Poor doggies, having to pull 2 big boys on this 'locomotive'. Yini, don't blame me! I gave them tips to buy them more food to eat le. In fact, the dog on the right shitted on the trip! Lucky we have our legs up!

1) Discount Coupons are my new found friends.

2) Items on discounts are just so much more attractive!

3) Sales are luring me just like bees to honey!

4) I am not upholding my New Year Resolutions.

5) And that isn't something new.

6) I have decided to spend the last of my money before I enter the world where health indeed is wealth!

7) Praying hard for all obstacles to be cleared for me effortlessly! Yes, I am afraid, very afraid.

8) I saw the new HIDEOUS military uniform. Hopefully I'll grow to like it. And please stop all imagination of me in that right now! I FORBID!

9) As usual, the new year seems to lack something. Even my brother felt that way(he doesn't really 'feel' for anything).

10) Let's all get BIG FAT ANGBAOS despite the recession(2 quarters of negative growth). HAHA.

The time when we got onto the same boat, was the time when I thought there were lesser passengers. The last one was the least I have expected or so to say, my greatest fear then. As I thought I had nibbed that little bud when it seems to have sprouted. Yet, a little nutrient was all the roots needed to grow once again. And from then on, I have landed myself in the equator of both worlds where I hold the responsibilty of preventing clashes. With a slanted heart, and a weakened mind, I let go and off the 2 worlds went, into their own dimensions. And just about now, there was a crack and a peek was done. Hands out-stretched, the worlds seems to want to recombine again. With yet another intention I do not know of. Hoping to seal myself in recluse, I paid no heed to the advances done and allow myself to fall freely, even if I were to ignore the pains I felt from the drop. What was left over a huge distance after a long time just should not be pulled closer all too sudden. Afterall, we all live our own lives in our own worlds now.

2009-01-13T09:45:00.003+08:00

The Smooth Glide!

This picture was taken on this pond in this garden that was actually the GRAVE of this certain emperor. Sorry I don't remeber the names of the places I go to because some were soooooooo boring. The focus is that this guy skating is actually one of the many OLD people there. In fact, the OLD people in China are very fit and active!

Went ice-skating yesterday at Kallang Leisure Park. Firstly, the shuttle service is totally pathetic. I waited quite long for it even though I was on time for the bus schedule, which was an interval of 50mins. So in the end I took the trusty CAB. I do not see the huge expense on the cab fee seeing how MRT and SBS are already sucking me dry. Next, it was totally DEJA VU. I fell on the same position with the same landing on my butt just like I did 3 years back. The difference this time is that I used my right hand more, probably my left hand siam by reflex. And so I have an injured/sprained/twisted/mutilated right wrist. HAHA. I swear it wasn't on purpose despite a tiny voice inside me screaming for happinness in hope my PES status gets lowered.
I think I can move along the ice this time and do not proceed to turning round and round only to stop with a fall. This time, I skated longer, practised my rounds and only fell 3 times!!! And I do not hold for support all the time! I didn't go alone, but actually it was to accompany XY for her 'stunt practise'. Let's see, if I went one round, she would have passed me at least 5 times. And there she was, keep on doing her 'I fly into your arms' stunt which she was the only one doing all the time. As usual, we gawked at the more professional ones doing such stunts I think I am unable to do it even on solid ground. And then there were beautiful ang moh girls. HAHA.

I can't wait for CNY and class barbeque!!! CNY for more income, class BBQ for rekindling of friendships! HAHA. To 07S303 people reading this blog, PLEASE TRY AND STAY OVERNIGHT!!! I need new clothes! Especially pants. Haha. First time shopping in Singapore leh! And I realised, I didn't buy any new GARMENTS for the entire 2008. Tell me how sad my life is!!! I asked my mum if I were to be allowed to shop for my new year clothes, she said, ' Erm, let me discuss with your dad first.' Oh well, that means the proposal won't go through then. Damn! Should have bought lots of clothes everytime we go overseas. Because everytime we go out buying new clothes, it is just to satisfy the CNY tradition of wearing 'new' stuff. Haiz. Oh well.

And usuals, I would also like another outing! Do suggest what should we eat this time! Or just tell me your CRAVINGS. And let's find a common one. HAHA. Also, anyone interested in working out? Be it cycling or even ice-skating!

2009-01-05T23:48:00.002+08:00

How Familiar...

It makes me sick to see these(some insect's PUPA) at the buffet choices.

It seems so appropriate to put oranges and apples in the same group, seeing how often people eat them. But do you know, apple is in fact a BERRY? There's not really a link between these 2 fruits but you see them being placed together so often it leads to a misunderstanding.

You can try and link the 2 fruits together by saying, 'the seeds are at the center' or even 'they all grow from trees'. If that is considered, wouldn't many fruits in the world be the same as well? Sometimes differences are so apparent, no matter how many links or attempts of commodifying both objects are done, it would not change the facts.

Orange produce the 'fruit' part in sacs whereas the apple just expands its flesh. The orange can be said to have 'expanded' as well just because it grew in size, however, the truth is that more sacs are created and the difference lies beneath the skin. To talk only skin deep, you can also say that both fruit have defense mechanism to protect it from injury. But in detail, what happens in the apple is actually oxidation of the 'wounded' area to turn the flesh brown whereas in the orange, oil glands in the skin hardens to form a layer that protects the exposed flesh.

Only when one trys to communicate things in the superficial manner, can then one be a 'friend' to the whole world. Common topics such as the weather or fashion can only bring people together for a short moment, a moment so short that one doubts the amount of interaction between them. Another failure in social interactions between humans is the path many take to participate in conversations. By agreeing to everything a party says not only achieve a platform of 'greater understanding' but also sort of brings both parties 'closer' by having 'similar thoughts'. The risk of disagreeing at any moment brings about much more trouble in either defending one's opinion or trying to accept other's mindsets. More often that not, the topics that induce such different reactions are not really even worth it. Hence what should one do in the event of a friendly gesture? Give it a shake and just smile while the sun sets for the day to end.

Sometimes, Nature just cannot be forced to change, not even a human's nature.

2008-12-27T19:59:00.002+08:00

The Worst Nightmare!

This photo was taken at this park where a tomb of this certain emperor resides. There are ponds and rivers that are frozen with a layer of ice as thick as 30cm. However, this area wasn't frozen because there was a flow of water and the park cleaner was fishing out debris. I like the reflection.

I had a nightmare yesterday night. It jerk me awake and my heart was in palpitations. A nightmare so horrid, I pray that it will never happen in reality.

It started in a classroom, similar to that of CCHMS. I sort of have the midset that I am in University already. And it's the first day of my Uni life. I saw a few of my ex-classmates, believe it or not, I saw Hejun, the old one I remember in p.sch and also Joycelyn, from MJC. Weird huh. As I was saying, it was around 8am, as the sun was quite bright. Then a slim female teacher came in, quite pretty, acknowledged the class and the lesson starts. IT IS A CHINESE PERIOD!!! And we were given 听写 immediately! And I can't spell a SHIT! All of my 成语 only got half the words needed! Then I was picked to read out a sentence from the textbook, and I stammered! I sounded like a freaking ANG MOH! It was pure turmoil! And so I woke up. The end.

It was such a horrible experience, I had the idea that I will be studying Chinese again in Uni for the 5 minutes after I awoke. And I kept on consoling myself that lucky I have NS, 2 years for me to pick up that rotting language. Even till now, the thought of doing Chinese work again raises my heartrate.

Indeed, when I went to China, I hardly can make out a full sentence in my mother tongue. And then there were those daily accesories that we only know the english names and so can't really translate properly into Chinese, only to leave me and the salesperson having difficulty in conversing. I even resorted to hand signals when I asked for a spoon. How pathetic is that?! Ok lah, that one also not my fault, cuase they don't call it 汤匙, but 勺子. Never heard of the latter right! It's 'shao2 zi4' . Haha.

2008-12-25T23:55:00.003+08:00

It's gonna be over soon!

This is in Dalian where they built this monument to remember the founders of Dalian and it is in fact an open book, to represent the continuing history of Dalian. Just after the Japanese occupation, it serves another purpose of 'A New Page', signifying a new age.

Christmas is gonna be over in less than 5 minutes. Yet today, I have no regrets or whatsoever. Maybe the part of the zi char outing being cancelled. However, had a great time celebrating a crazy woman's birthday. Too bad I can't stay to countdown to her actual birthday with her, but nevertheless, I hope CECILIA had a wonderful time.

My parents are being damn nice to me(for today)!!! My dad automatically gave me money for an outing!!! And my mum talked to me on the phone in the softest tone ever, even though I was later than the time I promised to be home at!!! The world is GOING TO END!!! Hopefully they stay this way! Haha. Actually, in the past there were changes, but this was the largest change EVER. Maybe they have ENLIGHTENED to the fact that I am considered to be of LEGAL age in Singapore law? I've said this before and I will say it again, I still hope this isn't temporary. The seed of doubt has been sowed and it has sprouted. Due to being at the ever extreme end of the scale, any suitable conditions even if slightly will allow it to germinate.

I wouldn't know an apple is a rotten apple until I've seen it, smelled it or even tasted it. However, not the entire apple is rotten, and so there are still nice parts left. Right now, all I see is the rotten part. I need time to look from a different angle to find the remaining good parts. Give me time and then I can truly give my judgement of the apple at hand.

Maybe you saw the good side first and hence you fell in love with it. Right now I hope the rotten side is starting to show. Before you put the entire thing in your mouth, release it or you might suffer the consequences. It isn't that the remaining apples are perfect, but you can only tolerate that amount of rottenness in one apple.

2008-12-20T16:21:00.003+08:00

Glad To Be Back!

YAY! I'm back! First thing I want to say: 'Singapore Is The Best!!!'. Seriously, nothing can be compared to our homeland, or maybe just Harbin/the whole of China. Their culture and manners is of such difference, I have to be on my toes when walking down the streets. One reason is because of the much higher crime rate and the other, is to avoid all the FROZEN SPITS on the ground. There wasn't really much of 'walking' when my brother and I were practically waltzing down the street to avoid the COUNTLESS obstacles. That is one of the main put-offs I shall mention, the rest is just too... disgusting for me to even type out.

Going northwards from Dalian, has increased the amount of clothings on everyone down the trip. At my thickest moment, I had 5 layers of tops and 3 layers of bottoms. With a black jacket and a white beanie hat, I really resemble the penguin. I swear I couldn't feel my nose, cheeks and ears most of the times I am chilling outside. The lowest temperature I have survived was -25 degrees Celsius, in Harbin at night. Yet there wasn't snow, just ice, ice and more frozen spits.

Harbin was greatly influenced by the Russian culture so much so that the only local specialty available in souvenirs shop is this sausage that resembles human faeces GREATLY. The weird thing is, the locals find it a delight and not being put off by the image. Singaporeans(us) avoid the sausage area all the time. Just imagine the same thing in the toilet bowl, also steaming, also with smell and the colour and the SHAPE(curved somemore). Do you have any appetite? Hence there wasn't any local souvenirs to buy except for sweets and foodstuff. Russian dolls, mirrors, swords, magnifying glass, chocolates, liquor and knives were just too weird and exorbitant.

I don't think I will put up a whole list of pictures stating where I went and what I eat but there will be a picture with future posts from now on and maybe there will be a small description accompanied. And yini, I didn't eat dog meat, but the bus passed by countless dog meat shops. I even saw a sign that goes 宰杀狗厂. Haha. Dog Killing Factory!!!

2008-12-10T11:09:00.002+08:00

Running away!

Escapism is a form of self-deceit, it is one of the solutions the wise urges the young ones not to take. However I think there are certain situations where this method is the best or the only method available.

It is not that I do not want to see you guys again, however the need is just not strong, in fact any other dates available will greatly override the need to see you all. I wonder what has happened to allow such weak bonds formed or were there even bonds in the first place? To much disgrace, I must say, not even do I want to meet those who were close to me before. There is just too much of a distance for us to be close ever again. Hence irregardless of how many times the tugging and pulling is done, I will just loosen myself and ease out of the way. With the whole event over now, there shouldn't be any more tugging or pulling until the next ever event shall rise again. Therefore, I am yet safe again, as I have never allowed myself to fall too deep into the river of lies. To be on pretense is what I wouldn't deny having done, but to be on a pretense that should be held for as long as the connection between us remains, that I cannot do, for myself and for the others. However, the truth is too harsh to come out of my mouth too, hence neither will words be heard, nor faces be seen. And so, I shall run away, far away from you all, from my past.

Dim sum buffet was GREAT!!! I am sure we ate our worth of money! And since Soo Hwee couldn't join us, we can GO AGAIN!!! WHOO~~~!!! Isn't it a wonder to see a great bowl of food chugged down the gut into the stomach and never realise the potential our stomach have of storing large quantities of food! I am always amazed at how much my brother can eat and always try to picture the same image of food inside his body, sort of like an X-Ray vision or something, maybe next time I can dissect a living thing that has eaten a large amount of food and see how it all fits together. Maybe him.

Don't try to pull so hard, the knot will become tighter.

2008-12-03T21:28:00.002+08:00

Just Because...

Just because a cow eats grass doesn't mean it likes grass.
As it's teeth formation is made such that the molar teeth greatly outnumber the canine or sissor teeth, hence it only has the capability to eat the grass right below it's feet. Also, there's bacteria in the 4 stomachs that helps to digest the plants hence it will be convenient to absorb the nutrients, although after several ruminations. Regardless of how the current species tastes, the ancestor happen to like grass with each generation and so evolved in such a way that they eat grass totally. However, there's a possibility that a change in food preference will alter the genes of cows so much so that next time they hunt us!
Therefore, there's a possibility that it likes meat instead!

Just because a straw is meant for drinking doesn't mean it can only be made for drinking.
The original idea behind the STRAW is to make drinking much easier! The physics of capilary action of liquid and also pressure is applied to make life easier. However despite there's not much change in the structure of STRAWS, the means of use have varied into many different kinds. In schools, it is used as a propeller to enable great distance for the spitball. Otherwise, many straws can be used to construct a tower architecture. Nowadays, straws can be folded just like paper in origami into different shapes.
Therefore, there are many different uses for straws other then the main idea.

Just because I put up a post doesn't mean I have to get a point across.
Seeing that I haven't blog in 1 entire week, there is the urge to update my blog irregardless of the relevancy of stuff. Also even though I had many ideas to put up before, I have already forgotten most of it and i'm blogging on just the current thoughts I have in my head. A blog can also be private and what I write here doesn't have to have an impact on anybody.
Therefore what I wrote all these while may not mean anything at all.

HOWEVER!!! I have a point to get across. Do not be so narrow-minded and only see what's in front, look sideways and you'll notice the flowers on the sideroads.

Just because I do this, participate in this, got something good with this, able to handle this, have passion in this... ... doesn't mean I am good at this, all the time.

2008-11-27T15:10:00.003+08:00

Should I?

It's SITEX, cheap cheap cheap electronics. And Canon is tempting me with lots and lots of bait, not to forget Nikon, Sony and the rest.

Should I buy a DSLR? Do I really need it? Will I even use it frequently? Will I buy the different lens to suit my need for photography? Do I even have a huge craving for photography so much so that I need to buy a DSLR? After enlisting, chances of using the DSLR, how high is it? Do I even have the full knowledge of handling a DSLR?

I look at all the choices available. I want the best, but do I need the best? The current 'need' at hand is to be able to take good night shots. The available solutions includes using a DSLR. The only problem is what comes after. I don't even need to take any night shots while being in Singapore. What comes after the trip? Putting it aside and let it grow fungus, again? It's an investment where the risks are uncertain, because the risks at hand is decided by the owner himself. The true benefits of investing may not appeal in the end yet it appears inviting to me now. What should I do?

ADDITION!!!
I have decided not to buy le... Wait until I come out of NS and have the CASH then decide what to do with it. Sorry guys! If you all plan to go on photog trip, I will bring my lousy digital Point N Shoot.

I forget stuff easily, but people, I just need a gentle reminder.

2008-11-24T20:59:00.002+08:00

比上不足，比下有余。

My dad used to say that a lot to me, when I was asking why my house doesn't have this nor that, why I am unable to enjoy this or that and why some other people just seem to be happier than me. Of course the tone he used wasn't a warm and nice one but that of a lecture accompanied by a strict glare. That's another matter.

The thing is, I ain't complaining much as I have accepted the fact. Furthermore, I am reminded of how fortunate I am after watching this channel 8 show at 8pm on mondays. It's about families with problems that just cannot be solved overnight. The core problem of the family is health issues, which leads me to believe that the most important wealth is health! (I can go be a promoter of HSA) Of course, the other problem will be the unruly kids they have. Already a poor couple debted with health problems, they had 5 kids, out of which 2 are 'accidents'. There's this kid with such bad manners I might kill him one day(if I'm the younger brother). Ok, that's an exageration or maybe just this tiny lil bit of me that wants to do that. Hahaha. And then Quan Yi Feng said :'All kids start out as a piece of blank paper, they will appear as what you write on them.' Or something like that. Which leads me to believe that actually, not all kids with natural 'tails' are bad(cause I saw this very cute boy-boy whom I choose not to see the 'tail'). Then at the end of the show, that same host said :'Be glad you have such a happy family, able to enjoy mealtimes together.' And I realised she wasn't on such good terms with her husband and that she's in a loveless marriage. And that's how the family wasn't 'poor' after all.

My body is aching like a 80 year old just after one session of light gyming. I am so unfit! I have to shape down(not up, down first haha). Turn into a full time gym rat. Maybe I should invest in protein shakes, wonder if there's strawberry flavoured ones. LOL. Another message my body is telling me is the weird weird feeling I get when I slack nowadays. It is unclear and I am yet to find out the reason. In the past, when I know there's homework to be done, tests to be studied and lessons to be attended, I am able to slack with ease and push all these stuff aside and not worry about it. However, now that I am truly free(am I really?) I have this nagging feeling that somehow, the whole thing hasn't really ended. Maybe it's the results, maybe it's the 'Pre-Uni Syndrome' or maybe it's the lack of responsibilities and work that's been weighing me down in the past. Just like having to carry a heavy weight all this while only to put down everything at one go, you will tend to pick up that weight again.

It's just 4 days after A lvl and it seems so long already! Time pass by just too slowly.
Come to think of it, I wonder why I didn't use my dad's words against him when he's comparing results. HAHAHA.

Theory : What I lack is the feeling of release, as in the first place, I wasn't really held down by academics at all.
Reality : I'm too tired and bored of life.

2008-11-17T11:26:00.004+08:00

YAY~~~!!!

Last paper, needless to say, MCQ. Haha. No kick lah no kick lah!!! Holiday mood is what I'm having now man!!! Can't wait for my trip and WORK and all the MONEY $_$. YES!!! I want lots and lots of MONEY! The joy of spending(esp spending other's money). No comments on the A level in general cause it's just too complicated and I do not want to go and think about the PAST and how I felt when I saw the dreaded wooden slices.

I have been quite kuku recently, especially last night or mainly yesterday cause I was on a 'anti-everything' rampage. I was irritated by this certain loser in my life(whom will always be till I die) just because of his existence. HAHA! Evil but so fun! Sarcarsm and cynical tone was totally thrown at him and he can't take it, so he stayed angry at me....for 1 hour and 20mins. Until his annoying behaviour broke the silent ambience I was enjoying so nicely. He just can't help but to talk to me. Tell me if that's loser attitude. Actually he has no right to be angry to start with, since all I did was just mentioned his faults and emphasized them over and over again. Man should acknowledge his own faults in order to improve right! That's why he has never improved. Too bad. Wonder how he'll survive like next year, when I'm in the army(not that I will enjoy it either, see how lor).

Ok, about the white tiger incident, they are such beauties!!! And lucky they haven't lost their beastial nature even in a zoo. I am saddened by the man's death and also his decision on his suicidal method. Maybe it was a show, his AAness(attract attention) prompted him to put up a glorious(bloody) death! Does this counts as suicide then? Since the beasts attacked him, so maybe he will still be accepted into heaven? Haha. My theory is that all that happened was an accident. Covered up by the media and Singapore Zoo as 'SUICIDE'. Seriously, being a contract worker, he has no relatives to testify against his choice of death and also his 'normal behaviour'. The management might have held a meeting and then pass down word 'All employees are to emphasize on his erratic behaviour, be it true or not.' Well that's my theory, though I myself hope not to think it's true but there are loopholes. Another thing is the next day, it just so happens that the Singapore Zoo had advertisements! And the white tiger segment was cut short to like microseconds! I only caught a glimpse of the white tigers in the ad. Tell me they did not manipulate the media to save their reputation.

Cynical. Well I have been that for how long I cannot remember. I am sorry if I have irritated some people(I know I did) because of my cynical remarks and attitude. I realised that and I shall improve on it. Trust me. The thing is I choose to believe I'm a realist. My character tests showed that I'm half opportunist and half realist. So I'm not fully bad right! Haha. The truth is there and sometimes I find it hard to deny. Hence I would rather accept the fact and well just make do with it. So I shall learn to try and see things in a better way, during the holiday and .... army? Haha.

Sometimes it's not that I don't want to talk things out, but doing so will only aggravate matters. So why not leave it and move on?

2008-10-27T22:49:00.005+08:00

Is it still possible?

We used to
~talk about others behind their back.
~do random stuff that will bring laughter to even the glommiest days.
~go restricted areas and take pictures with weird poses.
~go out just to unwind and talk about matters.
~plan holidays and end up doing much more work for our own enjoyment.
~scrimp and save so we could spend more together.
~say how much the world would be better if there was just a little change.
~complain even on the most unreasonable terms.
~tease and bully each other.
~gather and teach many others our old tricks.
~comment on any other person walking past.
~run and jump under the hot hot sun.
~stay together despite how far apart.

We wanted to
~live together and experience new life.
~travel together and create new memories.
~work together and make new dreams.
~earn money together and enjoy new things.
~help one another and find new solutions.
~go out together and explore new places.
~laugh together and have new fun.
~shop together and find new clothes.
~party together and try new drinks.
~stay together despite how far apart.

Is it still possible? When right now, we are already so much further apart?

You showed me a mask when I thought you wouldn't wear one. Guess everyone needs personal space now. You gave me a look I have never seen before. Guess everyone needs a change now. You did something I would never expect you to do. Guess everyone got their own things to do now. You said something I wouldn't even imagine you to say. Guess everyone thinks differently now. You are someone I don't think I know anymore. Guess each person is an individual afterall.

2008-10-26T17:04:00.002+08:00

Goosebumps.

Yes, I brought my laptop to study at Coffee Bean. And NO! It's not distracting me or whatsoever. Although I used it to de-stress by visiting some game sites. Haha. Maths is a bore, it kills my life. That is a fact I cannot deny!

Anyway, I just want to post something short because, here I am now, being a lamppost to the over-aged couple right beside me. Other than the fact that they wore couple shorts(totally identical), their loving antics has raised goosebumps in my skin. Who would have thought the rowdy, chor-lor, tactless Choon Tee will be so nice to her BF, indirectly of course. She took for him a huge cup of milk(larger than what she took for me) and then help him clean the cup's edges for fear of bacterial contamination. Now they are studying side by side and it seems her focus has gotten back together! Much more than seeing Alfred of course. Afterall, the true love is stronger than everything! Haha.

And another thing to blog about would be about ALFRED!!! Today, Alfred talked the MOST!!! He came over and disturb me, being his lame self and for once, talked to me more than his FAVOURITE JOAN. Hahaha. Well, actually he came to ridiculed me by saying how easy maths is and how he has a degree in Buisiness and Finances. Fine lor, win lor! Maybe it's easier to get it in Phillipines. Haha.

7 days, I still think there's enough TIME. =X

2008-10-25T19:59:00.002+08:00

Coincidence?

I received the news. The day where I walk down a different path has been set. A date where I will be comfortable with myself mentally and hopefully physically too. I think the number '3' is a magical number. My class is 303, there are 3 guys, I'm the 3rd in name, my name has 3 'T's, my register number is 3^3 = 27, I often take bus 3 to school, I have 3 gym buddies and my enlistment date is 03/03/09.

I informed Sun Thai of my enlistment date and some time afterwards, he got news of his. 12/12 this year. I'm going overseas just one day before he go off to NS. Firstly, I shall say sorry that I can't send him off. 2ndly, I am saddened that we never got in together. 3rdly, let's just hope we still get to live after the whole thing. Haha.

So there are some days left before the BIG APPLE starts rolling. I shall try to complete my syllabus, don't dare say best, but shall try much harder than all the previous exams I ever had. I haven't really felt the nerves, or is it still early? I'm just plain abnormal. Wish me luck man!!!

If the coincidence still run, may I get 3 A's for the upcoming exam?

2008-10-19T12:49:00.001+08:00

Hesitant.

There's a journey for me to take.
But there isn't much difference even the end will make.
Maybe a topic of conversation,
Maybe a moment of humor.
But for this lasting sensation,
Some effort to even remember.
Just because our youth ensures some haste,
There isn't any reason for time to waste.
Take some hike or trek into the deep.
Consider everything before I fall too steep.

I'm staying off coffee for awhile, after having gone through gastric efflux.

2008-10-17T18:47:00.002+08:00

Secrets...

A secret past, some secret thoughts and many secret desires. Some secrets are dark, some are hilarious but many should be left untold.

To freely open up oneself to others requires a large amount of courage. For there are risks involve when one is opening up. Will there be acceptance, or will there be awkwardness, which is often followed by stigmatisation. In order to get acceptance from the 'normal people' one must select carefully how much to open up. The only way for 100% of a person to be known is when the mind hasn't found it's consciousness and awareness of other people's mindset. As like a child who just voices out what she thinks of the many objects in view, she hides nothing until the discovery of fear, the fear of voicing out thoughts that brings consequences, ones that induces harm.

I cannot deny I have my secrets too. But whether is there a need for them to be known is another matter. There is no measurement as to how much secrets one can have. It is of certain that one will not find himself lacking of secrets to hide. What might be useless information to others as it doesn't affect them one bit in fact might be a tipping point of the beholder. Once it's out for the world to know, chaos of the heart and mind ensure and there might even be breakdowns. In fact, many pursue the secrets of others due to the excitement and joy in the tension of waiting and knowing something that is restricted. It's curiosity that killed the cat(I wonder how).

A secretive man, leading a secretive life, with his secretive past and a secret crush.
Pursuing secret dreams and with secret hopes, he hides in the dark and speaks with a hush.

Some secrets are meant to be kept in the dark for it is to ugly to be shown to the world.

2008-10-15T21:16:00.002+08:00

Grossed out.

I just read at National Geopraphics that some peace-loving chimpanzees have the habit of eating other primates, other monkeys. They were peace-loving because they play and groom with other species and sometimes even mate with them, not that any new species will be produced but for the fun of it. Haha. The new discovery is that they do hunt other monkeys to EAT!!! One day they were playing with them, the next, they eat them. Sort of like edible toys huh.

Come to think of it, it is quite a high order thinking right? As the idea of turning playthings into something essential for survival does requires a certain level of intelligence. In fact, scientists do constitutes 'having fun and entertainment' as an act of high intelligence. Thus it leads me to wonder, were we(humans) at this stage before? Where maybe as cavemen, when starvation sets in and the only food available is the cavemen in the next cave? It irks me to know that we once killed other primates and rip the flesh right off the bone, with blood dripping. That's evolution, a work of beauty with ugly actions.

2008-10-12T20:59:00.002+08:00

Drunk in Life's Misery.

Studying is misery, a form of escapism will be to get drunk, which I unconsciously did the previous day. Well I didn't expect my body to have that big a reaction with only 7% alcohol! That means I will be drunk on my first drink at the club. Haha. That's like so loser. So I must TRAIN to hold my liquor well! After A' lvl, I'll get drunk once every week, with increasing dosage! Haha. Then I can tahan the heat and drowsiness.

Everyone's talking about graduation day and so I shouldn't give it a miss too. Not that I am not sad everyone's not meeting in school to crap anymore (exam days are soooo not counted), but because of the situation we are in which only induces stress and anxiety, there's isn't much to express. Maybe, when all is over and then one sits down only to realise you can't see them again to crap and have fun in serious situations. Also, MJC teachers are quite hilarious. Wonder if anyone have the video of the maths department RAPPING.

I need a tonic that can ensure 100% energy for the whole day and yet does no harm to my body and mind. I heard there's a brand for it, it's called 'Miracle'. Anyone selling that? For now, I'm helping myself to coffee bean with the paper notes in my wallet(there's a huge hole). And I'm immune to caffeine. Let's see how many cups of tea I can endure this coming wednesday.

I will not retrace my steps, instead move on and create a new path for myself.

2008-10-06T22:07:00.002+08:00

Useless VS Useful.

I found a good place to study and do work. The coffee bean at Expo. On sunday, due to the events and exhibitions, there was a fair amount of customers and a tolerant noise level. However, after the events had ended, there wasn't much people, maybe there was like half the number of people to the number of tables. Well, since everyone decided their workplace requires one or more table, 2/3 of the space was used. There aren't too many students, especially MJ's despite seeing one or two, definitely present. And the music is nice, power 98fm. Haha, my new favourite station to listen to while Don & Drew are on at Perfect 10. Cause I don't wanna get distracted by their crap session. And the most most most important thing is, THERE'S A PROMOTION GOING ON AT ALL FOOD OUTLETS AT EXPO, AND YOU CAN JUST PRINT & USE THE COUPONS INDEFINITELY!!! For coffee bean, it's $1 off any large ice-blended. So... I saved! And there's the Subway, where you pay $8.90 for any 2 6-inch subs that costs below $5.90. So if you bought 2 $5.90, you saved $2.90!!! Also, if you want a snack while studying, there's the 1 for 1 medium onion rings from BK!!! The best best best thing is, the coffee bean workers gives GREAT service and attitude and they DO NOT CHASE YOU AWAY. One last benefit will be the free-flow of fresh milk available(which I had 4 cups today, I need my bone growth :P).

Having studied more than usual, I was satisfied with my amount of work and thus I updated myself upon the happenings at IVLE. I looked at the prelims questions to be done for the group consultation and I was totally sianed. Those are the challenging questions mentioned even by Ms Wang! And I so totally pity those in TJC for having to endure such questions. Wonder how they fared. And I smsed Mr Choo about whether it's compulsory and stuff and he took so long to reply, to which I account it to the fact that he forward my sms to every other bio teacher and consult them on the reply for me. That's just a guess but it might be true! Haha, so bastard. The reason why I wanted to go is because I want to analyse questions better and also to get my mock paper 2 with "personalized comments". However, the questions to be analysed is freakishly hard and then I don't want my P2 to be personalized by Mr Choo too much. Later he draw his chicken which is unlike that of any other hand-drawn chickens I've seen and also his personal handwriting that is parallel to that of mine.

Ahhh... I've kinda de-stressed through blogging. Haha. And I so hate my brother due to his high level of intelligence. He had physics paper today, and I saw him studying bio yesterday. Then when my mum asked how he did, he said confidently, 'Confirm A1'. He had Social Studies days ago and he was fretting about not acing it as he didn't complete. Asked how much he left out, '2 conclusion and another part of qn I anyhow write'. I remembered I had left out at least an 8 mark question in all major SS papers. Tommorrow, he has E-maths. He flipped through the textbook in 10 minutes and he declared himself an A1 scorer already. For those wanting to kill him now, take your queue number, after me.

2008-09-30T21:37:00.004+08:00

I didn't plan this.

Timetable is useful to a certain extent. Discuss.
This is my first ever timetable that I set for my own benefit and I TRIED to follow. Well, seeing how I have half the work done, it's pretty efficient! 0.5 round up = 1!!! Haha. At least I did something and didn't really waste my day. =D

Just saw in the news, a(nother) NS guy just died, without any known cause(as of yet). He was awarded the PES A fitness grade. Mind you, that's a grade for COMMANDOS and such. Being healthy and physically fit, he died without saying his last goodbye to family and friends. His last moments, doing push-ups and other exercises. That's kinda sad right. Not knowing how/why you died, especially the WHEN. Let's just assume, that he was like the other physically fit people who had died this year for no apparent reason, only to be concluded that it was heart failure, not that they had ailing hearts in the first place. For these people who were training their hearts for major activities, to suddenly die just because the heart gave up on them, I feel sorry for them. That's as if I were to eat a lot of rich food and then to die of high cholesterol! Ok that's not really a good analogy but you get my point.

I hope this isn't karma but to tell the truth, when 2 NS guys died earlier this year, I gave a thought/hope there was a third death. Ok ok. I feel super guilty now that I said that. Hopefully I don't get bad karma. I didn't really asked for a death. Shit. I must do good deeds daily!!! To offset the sin... Man. I didn't plan for it.

I do hope he rests in peace, not just him but all the other people who had died due to some unknown cause. And I just heard from my friend that a guy from his gym commited suicide due to depression. In fact, the guy already wrote a suicide note 10 years ago. Please please do not let death be an escape route you'll ever take. Nothing beats living another day to feel the love and joy in life.

When they asked if you were prepared to die for the country, I didn't expect to die while preparing.

2008-09-26T16:43:00.008+08:00

Very Cute.

Eastpoint was holding some 'My Fancy Goldfish Competition'. At first I thought it was quite a loser competition as I expected small kids to bring those small goldfish that doesn't really have any beauty to be proud of to participate. Then when they set up the tanks I realised it was a kinda big scale competition especially when they have this gigantic tank that contains 8-9 GIANT GOLDFISH to show the categories available. Nevertheless the tanks were open for the public and I took some pictures! Quite lousy quality because I used my handphone. Haha.

This is super blurry cause it was moving but I like the colour tone and it was bubbly!

Type : Ranchu

All of the goldfish are very very fat. Think it signifies prosperity and fortune or something. But one thing's for sure, they suffer from obesity. This one's too fat to even bother to swim.

Type: Ryuujin

This is also a Ranchu but it has these 'poms poms' flesh bulb growing on it's nose. A bit gross especially when it's breathing and when it sucks in the water, part of the flesh bulb enter its mouth.

But overall its very cute and bubbly! Maybe it's because it can't see well in front, it keeps on swimming to the tank glass, then the 'poms poms' will be rubbing against the tank, as if it's using them to clean the tank.

I feel quite sad for this little guy here. Firstly the eyes are of different sizes as you can see from the size of the pupils. Secondly was it can only look up and nowhere else. Hence it didn't really swim much. Then it must have gotten this kind of eyes due to the pairing of genes from other types of fishes. Maybe its parentage was goldfish + flatfish.

These two entered the category : mirror image. Although this pair didn't win but they are very alike already. So you can pretty much guess the standard.

Type : Dragoneye.(yes the pudgy eyes are 'eyes of the dragon')

While walking around to view the goldfish, there's this uncle saying some of the goldfish are 'stressed'. Having reared fish before, I do understand what he means and can see from some of the tanks where the goldfish face an inner corner of the tank and doesn't move. A bit sad but I do wonder, having a memory span of 3 seconds, it is able to retain the stressed feeling for quite some time! Otherwise it would mean that it is feeling the stress every moment. However maybe when nobody is looking at it for say 3 seconds, then it'll forget that it was stressed ever before. Haha. So one can learn to forget the unhapiness from this forgetful goldfish. (but do not forget all the contents you learned for A levels!!!)

2008-09-24T15:30:00.002+08:00

On a lighter note...

A lot of times I wonder how I can be so mentally sound despite the situations I am in. Compared to my other friend who will flinch at the very thought of worry, we are poles apart. Yet it is because of this differences that we click as 'opposites attracts'. Of course being opposites, we do try and influence each other so that we do not be the extreme ends of the 'worry scale'. Many have told him to learn my carefree-ness from me and me to learn his kanchiong-ness from him. If we were to add up and separate into two average, we'll get 2 very average person. And so it is what we are that makes us unique.

Also, my optimism has baffled many as to how I could maintain a smile in the face of a setback. Take it with a pinch of salt, step back and find the brighter side of the bigger picture, even if it's just a spot. Maybe it's also a form of escapism where I don't look at the problem in front but to find solace and comfort in everywhere else. To me, it's just plain optimism. I don't know if anyone will feel better or if they are able to see the brighter side I could help them find as I am unable(so far) to fall so deep into despair that has blocked out all source of hope/joy in any situations. Let's just say, even if the speck of light is very small, it'll shine brighter than the darkness. Of course, one day, this will lead me to my downfall as reality kicks me in the head and when the possibility of miracles happening is insignificant. However, I will never regret this path I take as I did not suffer as much in the pain I felt.

And yes, that's my very spastic brother who suggested taking the picture in that pose. I'm a teeny bit jealous he's way taller than me.

You know where to find your source of happiness, it isn't as hard as you thought. All you need is just courage to do so.

2008-09-21T20:39:00.002+08:00

When They Clash.

Sometimes, human thoughts and actions do not complement each other. At a certain point of time, one might feel a strong sense of resentment and restriction yet the body nods readily and proceed with the unintended action. Is this another one of nature's mysteries? With the evolved intelligence that Mother Nature has bestowed upon us, comes along much more applications of the human body and mind, not to mention the complications too.

Why would scientists find out that the usage of our over sized brain is only 10% and yet we can do nothing to expand it? A more straightforward question will be why only 10%? Each individual is quite different, does it mean each person's allocated '10%' is different too? What about out of the world talents? Such as psychic and telekinesis? With the knowledge that there is still room for our brain to evolve, greater limits are set and we are push further up the evolution ladder, yet down to the end of the Earth. Ok, I side-tracked quite a bit. Haha.

As I was going to say, about how our actions and thinking contradict. This is a skill in which we pick up due to our intelligence. I don't think we will see animals doing what they don't want to without any reason, unless they have a certain level of intelligence comparable to us. The reasons for the opposite action that is unreflective of our thought are plentiful. In view of certain moral values or characteristics of a person, it is infused within their lifestyle to do so. Of course such things happen to me too. And I do admit, there are lots of times I reflect upon my 'action' and questioned myself on why didn't I act as intended. One of my reason will be to not create more problems and to simplify matters in a mannered and civilized way. And yet these methods do not favour me in any way. Another problem that is closely related will be the selfishness of oneself. As many many many wise sayings goes; you cannot pacify all the people in the world. And to many, the most important person is themselves. Not all the time, but it is present in everyone of us. And so I suddenly remembered these acts of selfishness that happened to me and I do realised it's not their fault, it's human nature.

Upon another matter, there are certain people that have walked into my life and now they have disappeared. Maybe they left a footprint, or some evidence but all these are embedded in memories. I remembered some fun times I shared with all these people in the past. But now, the distance and relationship we are in shows no hint of such incidents ever happening at all. People change, so do feelings. Once we talked, we laughed, we shared. Yet now our paths have never crossed. Will things be different if I had known you better? Will things be different if we spent more time together? Maybe. It isn't that I miss them or so, but the thought of losing a potential friend is saddening.

Ok this post is abit long. There's school tomorrow and we'll get to know how well we did for prelims. I am crossing my fingers for some papers and going to shut both eyes for a certain subject. Let's all just do well at the last hurdle. =D

2008-09-09T21:23:00.002+08:00

I DREAD IT.

I really really think it is this subject that pulls my mood down the gutters. I've just rested for like 3 hours, escaping my destiny to try and dominate some formulas. Yet, the time has come for my conscience to come up to me and slap my face. So what to do? I turn towards BLOGGING! Haha. I don't care man. As the time slips pass me, with my stupid and idiotic conscience nudging at me, I am typing my thoughts out. Well, well.

Despite the unchangeable fact that I HAVE TO COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THE SUBJECT, I still have the urge to throw it all away. I start to do silly silly things, I talk to myself(not reciting the formulas, but more of mumbling my grievances) and I turn towards the only source of comfort I can find at home : FOOD. Luckily, my mom has stocked up on some food supplies so that my brain still gets its nutrients. I even asked my mom whether I can have like chicken essence after prelim to prepare for the BIG A. Desperateness tugs at me man! If there is proven theory that pig's brains do help memory and increased mental fitness, I really won't mind eating it, despite the calories and also I do believe in my mum's cooking skills to make it taste like TOFU. Haha.

Actually I am a bit confused about the 'peak period' which teachers have mentioned. If we were to not peak before or during prelims, we can't really do well. But since I was doing badly all the time, does an improvement means my limit? Well if it so happens that I couldn't improve anymore after prelims, then isn't that bad? It isn't that I do not hope to improve but just that I don't expect a HUGE difference, maybe some results that will be able to soothe the nerves of parents and teachers and also my conscience. I cannot deny the fact that all I hope for this prelim is actually to pass everything. A pass means a lot since I don't really do so 'well'.

It is 30 mins pass my scheduled time to understand that dreadful and irritating and annoying and *fill in your own word* subject. And thus I shall end off having ranted something(although not enough). Study hard, everyone. =(

2008-09-03T21:20:00.002+08:00

Ever stop and think?

I thought a lot today. A lot on the past(not studying but well....). There are these cluees, hints or certain fragments of images that links you to the memories of the past. For one, I saw this small boy bringing his granny to starbucks. She bought him a pastry that costs $7.20. And then I started to chide the boy mentally. To think he would ask for something so expensive from a granny that has no income and may not even have enough of money left for her ownself. And of course, the granny relented and bought the pastry and let him finished it. I was reminded of my own grandparents. To tell the truth shamelessly, I have to admit that my filial piety for elderly and parents have not met its match. Not that I'm boasting but people who know me WELL will understand. Otherwise, just ignore that previous sentence. I have never ever disobeyed my parents, grandparents or shown disrespect to any other elderly(without reason).

When my mum ask me to do housework, I never question. I may be lazy, I may decline, I may argue why, but that's all in the past. I know her difficulties, her schedule, her efforts all these years. And that's why, I help her. I know she showed concern, I know she cared, I know she loved. Yet I am guilty, of questioning the amount, the depth, the motive. I seriously regret it. Sometimes when I truly think about it, parents do love their children. Love that is not the one between boys and girls, love that is not the one between toys and dolls, love that is not the one between pets and earth, is always hard to show.

Remember the times your mum rubbed your tummy when you had a stomachache?

Or the time your dad brought you to watch the first movie and it was the one you never stop talking about?

Or the time your mum try to put you before herself in everything?

Or the time your dad scolded you just because you demanded for one more amusement ride?

And the times you cried just because you didn't get what you wanted and never think about how much they have to sarcrifice?

I did lots and lots of silly things in the past. I cried and blamed my mum when she never woke me up to watch pokemon. I cried and blame my dad when my brother and I had a fight. I cried and blame my parents when they expected more from me.

Ok, this is kinda random and it all started just from the image of this granny and her grandson. To think I could write so much. Hopefully blogger won't screw up and lose this post so in the future, I will be reminded of the these memories. But even without blogger, they are memories.

Maybe your parents showed their love in so many ways, it wasn't really obvious to you. A pet on the head when you were asleep, a tear in the eye when you left for preschool or even the thought and concern for you whenever you are not around them.

2008-08-26T23:09:00.008+08:00

As our paths run different directions,

It's harder to keep track of each other's paces.

Glad to know of even the smallest actions,

The lives you are leading, if not in traces.

A conversation, a sentence or even a word,

It's all I need to keep on moving forward.

Maybe you do not see the need,

But by doing so you are doing me a deed.

Hope I'm not asking for too much,

For I do believe it's within your means, to give your friend a heartfelt touch.

Just my feelings tonight. It may be true to some of you, so don't cry. If you did, do tell me. Haha. Something's wrong with the spaving but it would be nicer to have the first 4 lines as a paragraph on its own.

2008-08-24T08:22:00.003+08:00

I think its bad KARMA.

Ok, in my previous post, I stated that I sinned, and so I do believe what happened last night was the punishment my conscience or external forces have given me. It was a nightmare, literally.

I seldom dream, not to mention having nightmares. Yet, it is those nightmares that are unforgettable. Because more often than not, it consists of family members. Here's how it goes.

I was going somewhere with my cousin on this glass elevator. What was special about it was that we do not know what floor we were going. It was very high. Bright orange neon lights were at the bottom of the elevator, in the shape of a pretzel(weird huh). And suddenly, my cousin wanted to go to the toilet. So we ran into a cinema(I don't know why) and he into the toilet inside the cinema. While I took a seat and watch the movie. A horror movie. To my conscious mind's surprise, my subconscious self in the dream laughed at the actors. But that's not the point. After laughing, (READ ON!!! IT'S THE CLIMAX!!!) I heard a baby whimper. There was this mother carrying her child watching the movie too. The mother was too engrossed in watching to notice her son was disturbed by a GHOSTLY HAND. It was those typical greyish-blue coloured hand of this dead person. At first, it was only 1, disturbing the child until the child screamed and wailed. Then the mum noticed, but it was too late. Several other 'zombie' hands are surrounding her head and before her scream came out of her mouth, it was tightly clamped shut. And the very last moment of this nightmare, I saw a upclose shot of the mum screaming without the hands. Apparently, the face of the mum was so sallowed, it doesn't look human!

And so I awoke abruptly with my heart racing. I took a look at my handphone. 3.06am. It's been such a long time since I had a nightmare and it has to be during the lunar seventh month.

Some people say dreams are a reflection of your actions in real life. I do wonder, which side of me does this reflect? Elevator, cinema, ghost hands, baby. Maybe my dream is trying to tell me : 'Don't always take the elevator, you only live at the third floor. CLIMB SOME STAIRS.'

'Come on, you know there's some nice movies going on, go catch one now at the nearest cinema.'

'Somethings wrong with your hands.'

'You are gonna get a baby soon!!!'(that's crap).

I didn't really have a good night's sleep like the pony. Actually that picture was initially used to represent how I look like in lectures. But since there isn't anymore lectures. Haha.

2008-08-20T17:59:00.003+08:00

SINNED

Ok. This is not what it seems in the picture but there's a link. Well, almost three times a day I commit the sin shown above, so that's the norm. The sin I just committed is one of GREED. Remember Sin Junction?!?! Eastpoint is 1 too! This sin I shan't explain will cause my downfall if I am unable to resist it. Who else could led me to sin, choon tee. Of all things to do, she shot my weakness to cheapness and thus my defences fell. Submitted myself to the temptation of the devil, I committed the sin. And hopefully, the little angel in my heart is able to maintain that speck of purity until the major event is over. Resisting the urge to open the door and submerge myself into darkness.

I love my class, in such a way that we are united to a certain extent, especially in ponning lessons and school. Can this conclude that no one in our class belongs to the JC-LIFE people?! It's hard to believe but results have shown that in a way, maybe, we really aren't suppose to be there. What a time for me to say this when the BIG A is so near. Just a thought, not that I'm giving up. The point is, not only the pupil, but also the TEACHER!!! Our CT, has given us the leeway to apply for leave! Even when we know the difficulties and situations we give her, most of us still tried their luck and submit their applications. The kind and motherly nature of hers has thus overtook her own selfishness and mind to let us off for the week. She has thus earned MORE respect and honour from the few appreciative pupils. All these words are truly from the bottom of my heart and I think she's much better than the last.

Speaking from a third person's point of view in light of some matters, has allowed me to reflect upon my words and actions. Sometimes people say the third party's words is the truth as parties involved in the problem can't really see the BIG PICTURE. But then again, the third party must also have the experience and knowledge to truly, speak the truth. With the meagre and non-existent experience I have, I guiltily take back my words for what I said does not reflect what I think, but more of what I blatantly came up with. Always trying to give the perfect answer isn't really perfect after all, to either parties. Words of 'wisdom' sometimes hides underneath, deception and ignorance. Having learnt my mistake, I shall always remind myself to think before I speak. And thus, I hope the someone who might know very well, will thus let this pass and do not take my words into concern.

Sometimes, bitchiness is a form of truthfulness. Putting relationship asides, you and I are just 2 different people.

2008-08-08T10:24:00.022+08:00

Loooooong Rest? NOT.

It's the National Day, TOMORROW. So here's some spoiler photos I took at the preview last week.

This is the view of Singapore from the temporary stadium at Marina Bay. It's actually quite nice isn't it?

I noticed this eagle-like bird or sorts in the city since long ago. I wonder how it survives in the urban city. And there's not one, but 3! They were flying so high this was the nearest my camera could zoom to. And also they keep encircling the stadium area too. Guess they were enjoying the show.

Jean Danker was the so called 'leader' of the sky blue region(colour of my seat). She's pretty. Even though her and other hosts showtime was like 20 minutes with 10 minutes zooming around in their car when they came out and another 5 minutes saying HI and doing the 'Marina Wave'. The rest of the time, they were just talking crap and introducing the next segment.

This is like Singapore's very own Jazz Singer. He's Nathan (what's his name again?) Hartono or something. Can't believe he's like one year younger than me. And I wonder how much money he is ABLE to make.

I like this photo because it shows the contrast between the size of the Dragonfly(those gliders) and the building. The sun was in favour of my seat also because silhouette pictures were much easier to take.

The F1 boats!!! You can see the building of the IR going on in the background.

The parashooters! I want to parashoot. They were gliding so close to the my seating area! It's such a good spot for photos. And for the second picture, that's not my camera by the way. Haha.

Audience interaction is never forsaken in all NDP shows. And this year, there's those giant balls(what's new?) rolling on the audience. This brother so enthu to get hit he already stood up, just nice an angle for me to exploit. Haha.

Pictures of the Black Knights. They were fantastic and one of the 2 main highlights of the show! The last piture showed them doing a collision course. Haha. Ok, it's more of a 'close shave' thing. I don't know what's the term for such a trick but ya, they turn away at the last minute right before they crash.

More tricks. The heart was dedicated to all Singaporeans. And the 'S' curve is so awesome! Plus it was evening and thus I edited a bit and I got such colour hues. Give me comments please. Haha.

So other than the never-fail-to-awe-me fireworks, there's nothing much to the NDP show already. The other performances weren't as interesting and I couldn't take any nice pictures of the fireworks with just my digital camera. Last but not least,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!

2008-07-31T17:33:00.004+08:00

Gone.

I hate blogger because there's this glitch that a draft you saved will just disappear. Yet, due to my stupidity in such IT stuff, I can only stick to blogger because it's easy to post.

I've uploaded lots of pictures on the draft and yet it is nowhere to be seen. So I shall not upload the various photos I took but resume to my previous way of blogging.

Malacca was fun, the people weren't. Went to A' Famosa resort. I went to the Safari and the Cowboy town. I love the snake. Didn't get a chance to hold it, was kinda sad. The host and performers(guy in photo) were the same people for ALL the shows. So was kinda cheated when I recognised the host for the Red Indian Show to be the same guy as the Multi-Animal Show. And saw a lot of AH KUAS. Overall it's a nice, serene environment. Kinda like Canada, my dream home. Had a private pool! Look who's the hardworking one studying by the pool?

I brought chemistry notes to study there ok! Didn't really slack lah. Also studied on my way back to S'pore. So I wonder how much I will score for that test. I expect a not-so-good one because I didn't really finish. Say one question blank? Haha.

Ok. that's all for today. So busy and tired. Shall I sleep?!?!

2008-07-24T21:21:00.003+08:00

I've said it before and I will say it again.

Sometimes, people tend to please others too much. Going all the way to make everyone or mainly that person satisfied. Boot-licker, a crude way to call it, but yes. I hate you.

Trying to make a simple thing complicated is the worst problem one can ever give himself. Trying to make all sad people happy, is the hardest task one can ever give himself.
Trying to cheat one's own feelings and act accordingly is one omnipotent talent one can ever give himself.

I try not to say things that isn't me. So much so that even if I never said it, it will hurt others. I don't want to change so as to suit others, I see no need to. What's beneficial, to me?

Recently, events that caused the emotion to get the better of me are happening more frequently. Some so much so that my emotions OVERRIDE.

Random thoughts in life that keeps on popping into my head. Well, if it's linked to any events that is happening in my life, it isn't random right?

This week is very very very depressing. Especially for some of us, not so much for the few and mainly it's the norm to those that are faced with the inequity in this world today. I shan't elaborate but if you want, you can ask me online and depending on my mood, I MIGHT tell you. It's that bad.

Moving on to happenings this week. I am surprised that someone still remembered our escaped terrorist Mas Selamat! One million dollars reward man! How about if I have a clump of his hair? Will I get... say... $100,000? It's a wonder how he can escape the eyes of our police in such a small country where almost every area is urban. It's another wonder how Singaporeans harped on the topic until the sentences of those wardens are passed and then moving on to their usual lives. Do you see any citizen walking around in fear of terrorist attack? Do you see security of the heartlands increased? Do you see more posters of Mas Selamat EVERYWHERE?! The last answer would be a yes but it has become such a 'decoration' that it has become useless. Now what was the number to call when you see the NASI LEMAK? I would be more interested in where the best NASI LEMAK in Singapore is, for which I highly recommend that of Changi Village.

I have so much things I wanted to blog about, so much that I forgot most of them. Well most of those 'I shall blog about it' intentions came after watching the news. There's just so much comments that can be made! I think I might need to make notes, of my comments. I feel like dedicating a blog to my parents. I think the entries to be made there would have already surpassed the number made here.

In around 36 hours, I will have my sweet escape and then it's back to reality after another 36 hours. Shall I bring pieces of reality with me to my little island of dreams?

2008-07-19T12:03:00.002+08:00

How rare...

Ok, this is my first time posting lyrics of songs!!! Songs that I like! Haha. Of course it contains meaning for meaningful songs appeal to me.

Natasha Bedingfield- Pocket Full of sunshine

I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine.
I got a love, and I know that it's all mine.
Oh. woah

Do what you want, but you're never gonna break me.
Sticks and stones are never gonna shake me.
No. woah

Chorus:
Take me away:
A secret place.
A sweet escape:
Take me away.

Take me away
to better days.
Take me away:
A hiding place.

I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine.
I got a love, and I know that it's all mine.
Oh. woah

Do what you want, but you're never gonna break me.
Sticks and stones are never gonna shake me.
No. woah

Wish that you could, but you ain't gonna own me.
Do anything you can to control me.
Oh, no.

There's a place that I go,

But nobody knows.
Where the rivers flow,
And I call it home.

And there's no more lies.
In the darkness, there's this light.
And nobody cries.
There's only butterflies.

(x2)
The sun is on my side.
Take me for a ride.
I smile up to the sky.
I know I'll be all right.

Ever said your last bye bye to anyone?

Bye Bye - Mariah Carey

This is for my peoples
Who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby
Your man or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (No, no, no)
Mamas, daddys, sisters, brothers
Friends and cousins
This is for my peoples
Who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky
Cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it but you kept me in line
I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes
On Sunday mornings and I missed you
But I'm glad we talked through
All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show
Because you loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today face to face

Never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life rolls on I
Wish I could talk to you for a while
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by

And it's true that you've reached a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And be right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye

Bye bye(x10)

And you never got a chance
To see how good I've done
And you never got to see me
Back at number one
I wish that you were here
To celebrate together
I wish that we could
Spend the holidays together
I remember when you used to
Tuck me in at night
With the teddy bear you gave me
That I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
You'd make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact
You're gone forever.

Repeats.

And finally... my song of the week!!!

Jason Mraz - I'm Yours

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
And now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing
We're just one big family.
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love love

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and I laughed
I guess what I be saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

Well no no, well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn your free
Look into your heart and the sky is yours
So please don't please don't please don't
There's no need to complicate
Cuz our time is short
This oh this oh this oh this is our fate
I'm yours

There are some songs that appeals to me but the lyrics doesn't really have much meanings. It just entices me. Viva La Vida is one example. So anyone got any of the songs I mentioned please please send me. Thanks! By the way, I'm updated of such song titles through 987fm. Haha.

2008-07-17T22:44:00.002+08:00

Some things, random.

I believe the major source of CO2 emission in Singapore is not from the transport vehicles or even the industries on Jurong Island. I believe it's from the constant sighing of Singaporeans for having such life. Haha.

I really really don't like the song '7 things' by Miley Cyrus. Sorry. I just hate her.

I love wikipedia.

My friend whom I thought I would be able to confide to has decided to ignore me. By doing that, she hoped I would be able to do work. It's not working.

I think there's no definite in this world.

Reconsideration and reflection is the thing humans should do all the time.

I take back my shit on time planning and stuff. When emotions kick in, my brain already lost.

I don't care. Do not argue with me. I am OBSTINATE.

I hate my teachers.

I have more to write. But I'm just wasting my time.

2008-07-17T22:07:00.003+08:00

A Load of CRAP.

I just downloaded a lot of stuff at home. From me. Yes. If it is to be measured in computer storage space, I would assume its unit to be GIGABYTES. Yes. It's that much. And I'm sure it would be more than 1kg. I still cannot accept the gain in weight even after I had 5 straight days of exercise. Do not mislead me into thinking of it as muscle mass. Because I'm sure what I've done is more of losing the mass then gaining it. We shall know tomorrow how mush crap I unloaded. Haha.

An afterthought from reading JM's post on PE, I dun really agree. What I mean is, well, not that I would spend that time studying, but it is needed of me to lose my weight in the pace of studying as well. I see the need, it's there, for a long time already. Haha. I have lost all hopes of passing my Nafpha and in the process of preparing myself mentally for the EXCESS training in NS. And to do that, my physical form can't be too pathetic too. So I see the need to gym, to exercise. I don't want to be the last man running. Yes, I have that desire. Not for academics. Don't ask me why. I'm sure most of us will face this dilemma. And to think I used to complain of PE too. Even though I would prefer gyming to PE. Haha.

I'm blogging despite me having lots and lots of work tomorrow. Actually, today can be considered as one of the days that has the least workload. Well, I can't do maths for goodness sake, and I still can't find my Ionic Equilibrium notes for tomorrow's time trial. So I am doing research for econs now (later). I have a vague idea of what to write, but I just don't want to. Yes. Hardwork!!!!!!!! Haha. This few weeks, I've been crammed up to my neck, even though I still feel I have some slack, but it's the first time I truly did my work other than those times from primary school. I can proudly nod in agreement to Mr Ng's tutorial answer for the first time, because I did my work. However, there's still those undone but at least I have progressed. Haha. Mrs Logan said we need to sacrifice. I am. Time. Youth. Fun. Enjoyment. Etc. There's so much. And what can studies do? Help to earn more money. Money can't buy happiness. And so, I still won't be happy in the end. that's biased but I don't care.

Ok, I still have 6 minutes left, of the 30 min time allocation given for blogging. SEE! I am PLANNING my time!!! Haha. GOOD BOY TONY TAN!!!! YES YES YES!!! JIAYOU!!!! (self-motivation works!!!!!!)

My horoscope today - With a gentle touch and an open heart, much can be accomplished.
I should open my heart to academics, I did.

2008-07-11T21:04:00.002+08:00

I GET IT!!!!!

Ok, I get it already.

Yes I admit, the teachers got to me.

I thought I wouldn't be affected.

But I kept on thinking about it.

It stalked me.

ENOUGH is ENOUGH.

I shall work hard from now on.

Homework is my life, knowledge is my food.

Past results shall be scars and scabs.

Renew my skin and challenge the hardships.

Gotten hurt through the path but ends up at my destination with a smile.

Battered, not beaten.

Let us achieve what we should be getting.

I don't care where, as long as we make headway.

U are not going to appear on my result slip.

Not even in my mind.

Not even to anyone in our class.

Not when I shall try my best.

Not when I GRADUATE.

Not when I APPLY FOR UNIVERSITY.

NEVER EVER. Failure is not an option.(so cliche)

I beseech anyone, ANYONE to punish me if I fail to comply to hardwork!!!!!!

I shall declare myself INSANITY as my best friend now.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAH.

2008-07-07T11:06:00.003+08:00

Imagine...

I went for NS medical REVIEW just now, expecting to hear some news which will affect my health status. However, upon reaching, all I did was give some(more) blood and I'm done, heading for home. And to think I spent so much time trying to figure out what other illness or symptoms I have that needs a REVIEW. I was expecting say, crooked backbone, broken left wrist, heart problems or some unknown illnesses(my imagination ran wild). Then after I realised they just needed an extra tube of blood from me, it dawned upon me that they needed to do another test! Or maybe something's wrong with my first blood sample(which they took 3 tubes) that needs to be tested again. Hopefully it's not because someone contaminated my blood or LOST the tube which will be a stupid reason for me to move across half of Singapore just to give blood again.

This situation had happened before. It was when HSA did a medical check-up in school for secondary students and I required FURTHER check-up due to my stunted height. After first extraction of my blood, they claimed that there was low levels of some growth hormone(I suspect is the human growth hormone) and thus require another blood sample to 'double-check'. I still remembered the doctor said something like :'Oh it's nothing serious, don't worry.' And my mum was already asking the price of the hormone injection and the dosage and stuff.

And then on my way home, i thought about the possibilities of situations that may have resulted in doing a test on my blood once more. Maybe I've got leukaemia, or maybe it's the same reason as the one done by HSA. Does stunted growth give me a handicap status? Haha. I even thought further about the previous case. Leukaemia. If I have less than 6 months to live, what would be the result of those 6 months? Will I stop school? Or maybe I shall continue to attend like a lifeless zombie as normal and hide my condition from most people? I will really really give up on my studies and attend school just for the sake of taking up time where my family won't be free. Also to see my friends for the last time until I move on, not in life. Will I cry? Will I be so devastated with the end of my life before I've done anything major? Will my life in this world leave an impact, at all? I thought about all these stuff on my way home. And then when I reached home, my brother said to me : "Eh, some guy who has a terminal illness is on OPRAH now, talking about how he handles the news and stuff leh. Damn sad." How nice.

I don't really require answers to those questions. Or maybe I already have them, just not ready to face them. Life is so short. Many people dying without any reason, there's even Sudden Cardiac Arrest. I also read about Spontaneous human combustion where people or living things just go up in flames, suddenly. So many ways of death that happens to humans for no reason. Is God punishing us by giving us more ways to die, or is it a self-inflicted situation by ourselves that which we haven't learn our lessons? Life is full of mystery.

Moving onto FOOD, my favourite part of life I will surely miss in the AFTERLIFE. Haha. I was sending my GC for repair when I took a stroll at the Basement of Bugis Junction. To call it rudely, i would name it Sin Junction. It's a place where Sins of Humans gather. Top on the list will be GLUTTONY. The abundance of food stalls sends a wave of temptation(smell) towards me when I went up the escalator, before I even SEE any food. If my stomach has a mouth, it'll be screaming at every food stall I passed by. There were pastries, confectionery, yakitori, otah, fried stuff and lots and lots of goodies. If the thought of $68 that will be spent on my GC did not stop me, heaven knows how much I will spend to stuff myself. Even the thought of eating so much now makes me fat(fatter). Hence with so much choice, GREED overtook my mind and I spent $2 on 2 chicken Bulgogi sticks(Korean satay). And before I change my mind to spend more, I moved out of Bugis Junction to sink my teeth into the chicken satay. Haha. It was DELICIOUS!!! And after eating, the next sin is ENVY. Because I envy those other shoppers that have the CASH to spend on such indulgence. And with envy, there comes WRATH. I was angry at this family that took so long to decide on what to eat and hence wasted my time when I just wanted 2 chicken satay!!! Another Sin came into me when I saw the beauty and attractiveness of the chairs there. SLOTH. Not that I don't experience it now and then, but well, it just so happens at Bugis too.( It's one of the minor sins, as told by Wikipedia.) After I ate my sticks, PRIDE consumed me because I was proud that I didn't waste my money on some disgusting food and also resisted to spend no more than $2!!!!! LUST didn't really came into my mind unless you count lust for the food as a true form of LUST. Haha. Someday, we really should go and EAT. Maybe instead of SIN Junction, it should be TEMPTATION JUNCTION. There's lots of shopping too!

2008-07-04T14:08:00.003+08:00

Contradiction

I'm feeling very sleepy today. With the cool weather that's being around from the morning, it's being bugging me for a nap. Yet today is a special day, sort of. Firstly, it's the shortest day EVER we will have in the near future other than exam days. Lessons are cancelled and there's not much work. Even the teachers are slack(except for the PE ones). Only GP was a bore and a lullaby, not the first time. And also the realisation that prelims is around 8 weeks away kinda comforted and worried me at the same time. Another special event is that well, my OTAKU friends didn't come to school. Except for choon tee. One had a very funny reason. Haha.

It's the shock of being in a new term that deters me from school. Zzzzz. Even thought these few days staying at home rotting in front of my computer isn't any good for my health, mentally and physically, it stills bring joy and not stress!

Today's lesson is really nothing much except for the last which was only half. Mr Ng told us about how the 'Band' system will work. And Band 1 is for the smartasses, Band 2a is for those laggers behind the smartasses, Band 2b is for those wiping up the shit from the smartasses and Band 3 is for those who eat the shit of those smartasses. Ok, I'm in a cranky mood today, I don't know why. It is NOT menses. Nevertheless, I belong to band 3!!! I welcome anybody to come into the Lt and stare at the screen with me, taking in nothing but air.

Tommorrow there's SRP and I owe my tutor work. I feel so burdened. Haha. I shall go off to sleep le.

A companion to

always stay by you,

cosy up to you,

empathise with you,

be thankful for you,

and many more, all for you.

A pet? Maybe. The other half? Difficult. I'll stick with a pet.

Ok, I just received my daily horoscope email + daily tarot reading email, and both said I will be in a bad mood! Is it accurate or just coincidence? There are NO accidents!

2008-06-27T15:26:00.004+08:00

Starting ANEW?

Ok. this week was MYE and it haven't ended, sadly. Since I had an interesting day today, I've decided to blog! To also update on my past weeks. Well there isn't much to talk about(for those that once said will invite lots of 'I told you so') except a few interesting things I'm going to share.

Tuesday night I watched Brainiac, a british show that do CRAZY experiments, mainly blowing up of stuff, with a humorous kick. Some experiments are totally lame, like the one that tests which liquid gives the darkest tan when applied to the body. Liquids used - Tea, coffee, gravy and yeast extract. The last one is this gooey stuff that's like TAR. So you should know which won. Well the interesting thing is this experiment. This guy who is EMO and cannot find any meaning to laugh even in the face of a comedian is told to hold a pen across his mouth with his lips. Suddenly, he can laugh more easily! the scientific explanation is that when the mouth is used to hold something that forces the mouth to open wide, it activates certain facial muscles that causes the release of a hormone that induces laughter more easily. And the funny thing was, my brother and I tried doing it by holding a finger across our mouth and we LAUGHED AT NOTHING! Well, it does felt easier to laugh or maybe that's like psychological. Haha. Hence to force someone to laugh at your joke, make them hold something in their mouth. I guess Kang Li doesn't need it.

Wednesday night, I watched The Blue Planet despite having Bio paper 1 & 2 the next day. It's my favourite TV series(documentary) ever! Haha. the sad thing that happened in the show was how the film crew are unable to do anything in the course of nature despite it being cruel. Abiding the one major rule of environmentalists - to never interfere with nature in the course of work, the film crew watched helplessly as a grey whale calf gets separated from its mother by a group of killer whales as food. The whole event was filmed even when the sea turned red. It's a cruel world where only the fittest survive.(Ok, that's like Darwin's Theory!!!) And nevertheless, the mystery of the ocean NEVER fails to amaze me. Haha. Another heartwarming thing also happened in the course of filming. On one situation, while the crew was filming a shark attack on sardines, the divers were surrounded and threatened by the filmed sharks, which numbered up to around a hundred. Despite their electric probes to protect them, the sharks swam closer and turned attention towards the bigger prey-to-be. It was a horrifying moment to find your life being endangered in helpless water. However they were saved when they heard a series of noise- whistles and clicks. The sharks were driven away by the DOLPHINS! Power to the DOLPHINS!!!

Thursday was just like any other day which I slacked a lot. So it's TODAY! Today's paper was crappy. And after that, me and Kang Li went to Starbucks to "study". We brought notes and really wanted to study. However, she was distracted by this certain application in my phone which I shall not say and you guys have no need to know or remind me. And we started to talk while 'resting' too. She was being emo about her results and such and then we moved on to talk about dreams and a lot of miscellaneous stuff before reaching employment issues. Haha. You can say that we talked about everything under the world. Well it was like 3+ hours straight of talking! And talking kinda relaxes me! Haha, actually I think I was the one talking most of the time. So in the end, we didn't touch our notes. Well, Kang Li took them out, up, and then put them down. All in an instant.

So I have 3 more papers next week. It'll be a breeze! Haha. Carefree is the way to go!!! *Ignorant to warnings from others*

Before I die...
I would like to see the Northern Lights
I would like to swim with the carefree dolphin
I would like to parachute down the endless sky

How much time will I have left to enjoy the world

Before I die.

2008-06-14T15:54:00.004+08:00

A New Computer!

Yes, today I'm damn happy! Because my long awaited laptop is REBORN! Acer Aspire Gemstone series! So cool! And I got some benefits! Like an upgrade of the graphics and more! Haha. And I like the design too lah! Haha. =D And I'm listening to the radio! Ahhh... The crystal clear music from my Dolby Home Theater sound system! Haha. And to think my dad bought me this speaker set long ago, which is of no use at all.

I have started studying. By how much the information retains in my brain, I would say less than half? Ask me to recite or recall the Calvin Cycle and the pathway of respiration and I shall pretend not to hear you. Today I actually have the time to study, but my laptop is HERE. So I shall leave it till tomorrow. Haha.

Yesterday was friday the 13th! It went by like any other normal day. In fact, nothing unlucky happened to me! Haha. Well the only unlucky thing would be to have eaten a lot and hence like totally gained more calories than the ones I lost at the gym. Haha. Let's not talk about it. And when I mentioned gym, I do not expect my body to change into those gorillas, nor the bamboos sticking their legs on the treadmill there(if only that miracle could happen). But slowly, maybe, I hope to get fitter! Haha. No wasting of 2 months in NS man! Ha, talking of NS, 2 guys died. I feel sad for them, yet I feel...relieved too, for myself. Call me a coward but I do not want to endanger my life as well. Like so many people died in NS these few years! In fact, I even hoped for a few or one more to die to make the matter more serious. For that evil thought, I would be sent to hell already. I hope the ministers or someone will reflect upon the toughness of the trainings and also reduce the hardships. Then no more people would die. My dad said they all died because guys nowadays are more weak, unable to take hardships. I would like to rebut him, not face to face as that would entitle him to slap me, but here. People are getting more and more physically weak but mentally stronger. In this modern and developing country, there is hardly any need for strength and intelligence is what the government is looking for too. Hence, it's human nature to improve and utilise the skills and talents needed for survival in this country, which is to earn a living, and not to endure hardships. Putting down machetes and swords, we have moved on to guns and a push of a button for some city to be eliminated. I would question the need for training when all you need to do to destroy enemies/protect a country, without boundaries and moral values, is to just push a button to send one of the missiles or nuclear weapon over. And it's all over. May the world perish faster with the human touch.

That aside, I've decide to rear a CAT in the future. I have an affinity with cats lah! Haha.

2008-06-07T13:30:00.002+08:00

No Title.

Yesterday was quite an eventful day! Had BBQ and saw Nani and the councillors there at ECP too. It was a huge surprise. Haha. BBQ was fun because it was nice that we were feeding each other! Haha. The food was great because it was cooked by the 2 guys! Poor Aaron, haing to cook on his birthday. Haha. The girls really didn't do much(except yh). Sat on the lighthouse after Aaron left. Enjoying the sea breeze high up there (not very high but still...). I wished we could do that more often, I mean it was so relaxing to just throw your woes away and enjoy life as it is. A simple sea breeze and a quiet moment is all I need. Really. There's really no need for anxiety in EXAMS and such bore. Oh well. Haiz.

Next! I went home like kinda late(11+pm) and I was so afraid my parents would be angry and so I called them to tell them I was on my way home after I boarded the bus. I was afraid because my mum didn't call to nag and rush me and that is the worse thing that can happen. It means both my parents are angry and they are just going to wait until I get home then start all the blabbering. So I called home and my brother picked up and thus I was saved from a bit of nagging over the phone. And when I reached home, my mum sounded ... erm... cheery when she recognised my return. And so I thought I was safe!!! And giving them no chance to start nagging, I quickly went to bath so I can go sleep earlier. However, when I came out of the bathroom, the living room was in darkness! Apparently my parents were waiting for my return before they went to sleep because they are still working tomorrow, which is today. It was kinda nice in a way but I went to ask my brother if they were unhappy and complained about me before I came home. For a moment I had this hope that they recognised me as an adult and so they felt that I'm responsible eough to know my own timing and thus didn't nag. Yet, things were too good to be true as they did chitter-shat about me going out at night again, despite this my first for this holiday. Oh well, I live in reality afterall. All that I hope for now and the future would be for my dad not to mention how magnimous he was by allowing me to go out till late nights and from this one outing to be multiplied in his own world to be 5.

In this 3-dimensional world, which dimension do you live in?

2008-06-03T23:15:00.002+08:00

So slow yet so fast.

There are times when I hoped time could go by more quickly and then I stopped and think about it, took a step back, had a look on related matters and wonder, 'I don't seem to have enough time at all.'

I wanted to plan for my holidays and everything like how revision should go the 'perfect' way and how I will go complete the awaiting tasks and such. But I haven't really stick to the schedule, not one that is finalised. I still remebered what Sumathi's answer was when Mrs Logan asked her 'How do you study?' , to which the answer was 'I study by planning, but my method fail because I'm always planning to study.' I guess I wasn't any much better.

It's the middle of 2nd week of JUNE and I haven't got much(any) into that tiny brain of mine. Time passes by so fast I even wished I had super powers. Day-dreaming is a form of escapism. Haha. Next week, I'm up for NS check-up and months ago, I pictured a slimmer me inside a room of half naked guys and not to look like my current self. Yet it seems the reality is still there and I think I shall try and 'suck' in the 'un-see-ables'. I am doing my best this week: to go and exercise the whole week. Hopefully it will reduce some of those 'un-see-ables'.

In recent days, it's painful to see my brother at home and using the computer so carefreely as he only has to tackle his holiday homework, to which he'll purposely do in front of my parents to show his 'hardworking side'. Not that I'm any better by pretending to study by carrying books around and even trying to search for who-knows-what by flipping my notes. All for a facade, since from young, my parents don't believe anything till they have seen it, especially us studying. The much lesser stress he is experiencing and also the fact that his results is kinda undenialbly good makes me have the idea I'm wasting my time. Another thing I want to rant about is hard for me to type out and a bit groundless to complain about hence I shall just keep it to myself, unless you want to ask me. =)

Do you ever face situations where you have already moved on in life and then VOILA the conditions are just right if you hadn't. People often say have patience and in these situations, it's kinda true to a certain extent. Like the many many times I woke up early in the morning, expecting myself to lose some calories through running yet to find a grey sky partly covered in clouds. And so I went back to sleep, expecting to hear a light drizzle or heavier knocking my window. However after I woke up to which the time is already near noon, it's either the hot sun has dried up the rain in the ground or the clouds were part of the dream I was experiencing. And so I was cheated by the weather and well, I got some shut-eye. This is just one of the lightest of such situations which I do not want to face further in life. Who wants to live a life full of regrets?

2008-05-27T23:50:00.002+08:00

A piece of paper.

I have a piece of paper, everyone has one. What does yours contain?

Sometimes, I see sun and flowers and marine creatures. Ice-creams and food that I like.
Sometimes, I see clouds, yet not so dark. Rain, yet not so heavy. Thunder, yet not so loud.
Sometimes, there are so much words on it, it can't be put into sentences. Pictures might be forming and disappearing at the same time.

I see a lot of pencil writings. I hardly see any pen ink. Sometimes the pencil writing becomes dark enough for me to notice.

Today, I drew a long line across, using a pencil and then one more back, with a lighter shade. Before the lines were drawn, there was a bird chirping. Yet after the lines separated the paper, there were too many angles, sharp, blunt and some can even be just a line ending of at the finest tip. Circles became apparent before the squares faded. In the end, I have a few stars here and there but none able to remove the attention on the spikes.

2008-05-26T11:50:00.002+08:00

I'm WAITING.

I just found out ACER has this house-to-house collect + delivery system. Hopefully my warranty allows me to enjoy that privilege. Waiting for the email.

I have this empty timetable template I made around 3 days ago in 5 minutes. It's still empty. It is waiting.

WOW! It's the start of the june holidays! OFFICIALLY! And with less than 4 weeks to complete(will I ever?) my revision, I'm still slacking. Revision is waiting.

It's the holidays, and there's fine weather and I've been eating alot recently. Something is waiting. Something is gathering. Something I hope it won't stay till 09/06!

I don't know why but I have this urge for my parents to strike lottery or something. I haven't bought any, or else I will be even more desperate. Money money money. It's such a beautiful word people can't get enough. 'Money is the root of all evil.' Well since the world is evil enough to destroy EARTH, I don't mind being a bit more evil! Haha.
I want so much money that I won't have to look at the remaining crumpled notes in my wallet when I spend.
I want so much money that the limit to my creditcard chargeable is limitless!
I want so much money that I can buy enough storage space to store all the stuff I bought!
I want so much money that after I spent a lot, there's still more left!
I want so much money that I can stop dreaming here and just go out and spend it all.

If only the email I received about being the next-of-kin to some wealthy magnate who died in an accident was true. If only it was Bill Gates. Tell me I have his GENE.

2008-05-22T09:21:00.003+08:00

One Fact : E-Learning is USELESS.

I didn't learn anything significant except for the fact that the teachers overestimated their capabilities by CLAIMING the lessons can only be viewed at the CERTAIN timeslot, all of which I completed in 2 hours. Thank You.

2008-05-19T22:05:00.003+08:00

BIG BIG 21.

I have a lot of things to talk about despite the so-many-last-minute-homework I have produced with all the neglection. Firstly, I realised I didn't really type a 'last CCA meeting' post or such. Did I even mention anything like that? NOPE. And so I won't touch on it either. There's too many negative things that I do not want to think about. By negative, I do not mean the film cause we use DSLR. Haha!!!
P.S There's a confession. I wouldn't want to say it in school or anywhere until I've graduated. It puts ME in danger.

Secondly, I am finding the silhouette of my dad in me. Shucks, that's another negative thing. Ok. Done. I wouldn't want to evaluate further.

Next. This sunday(yesterday), my aunt held this huge celebration for my cousin who is the eldest at my mum's side. He's 21 years old already. Through that day alone, I have a lot of things to say so I shall summarised most of it.

I found out 21 years old is an age where many families celebrate large-scale then. I wouldn't blame my aunt for doing so for her eldest child. But what about the remaining 2? Yes, he is the most 'successful' in everything you can name. And the others cant match up but I feel that is not even a 'considering factor' to hold a party. And her 2nd son is the same age as me. Let's wait and see. And the question is posed to my mum : What about me? I'm the 2nd eldest. A firm no. I wouldn't want it either. Not with my family that is. I would much prefer to hang out late and chill and do stupid things before I am fully recognised as an adult(not by my parents). But I can imagine my mum calling me like at 9pm asking me to go home early when I haven't even had half the fun normal people are suppose to. Haiz. Another negative outlook.

And then came a bombshell I had to take a few moments to digest. The first OPEN BGR at my mum's side!!! Of course with the male lead. However, the female lead is in China for some exchange programme and so I didn't have a look. It is officially known because my grandpa caught them in the act at Bugis as they were going to play computer or such I heard(kinda boring but it's what my cousin do best). And so the grapevine is vibrant with the news and questions like "when are you introducing her to us lah?" are shot at my cousin. Poor him. A burning question in my head yet I have too much shame to ask. So do not think any further.
Negative thoughts in me.

Another negative negative negative event that is happening is all the natural diasters that is like happening in China and Myanmar. Kudos to Myanmar for having MORE problems with the relief effort even when they are in peril. Hope their economy will turn out fine. And a round of applause to the heroes in China who are doing their best to save their comrades(now, why am I comfortably sitting in my room using the luxuriant technology and feeling sympathetic for them?). A lot of views but none of them is good. Read today's papers about this female policewoman who is breast-feeding nine babies(none hers). That is a hero. And then I imagined the future and if I were one of the child when I grow up. Wow. Talk about the bonding!

I like today, except for the night like now as I have to cope with the guilt I'm feeling for tomorrow's lessons. If only everyday was a holiday. Sometimes, I would rather be born in those days where our world was not as developed as now.

2008-05-13T21:54:00.005+08:00

HILO

I'm here again! Wasting my time. I think I rested too long. Since I came back, had my dinner watched 3 hours of TV programmes. Was couch-potatoing so much. It just felt there wasn't anything to do! But there's the econs time trial bugging me. Somehow, I can ignore responsibilities so damn well. Until it all comes back to haunt me that is - teachers chowing down my neck. I think I'm fit to live like a king. Heck, who wouldn't want to? But somehow, not that I think I AM ROYALTY, but just that I don't want to do work.

I thought if it was something I like to do, it might last me for quite some time. Say rearing sea-monkeys/ant farms/ cat/snake or all the other animals I might have interest in. Yet, with something so simple as the sea-monkey, I got bored of them even when they haven't even reached adulthood. Right now, the water is slowly evaporating off in my room. The water level is at half tank now. I'm afraid I would be those people who has short-lived attention on their interests. Hope I don't become one. Maybe I will try to hatch my sea-monkeys ONCE MORE. Haha.

My 2 dear seniors from drama has asked me to act in this alumni play they are trying to stage for cchms drama night. My first thoughts would be : What's the point? If they asked for some guidance and say directing or some games and such, maybe I would go and do it. But acting. Other than the fact that I have lost my minuscule confidence in acting, i see several justified reasons for me not to go back and ACT.
- Not that I look down upon the artistic appreciation of cchms students not to even mention ANY teacher, it's that I see no need in spending the effort to go all the way just to 'have some fun in acting once more'.
- Since the cuckoo principal decide to do a Russian Roulette on the CCA teachers, there's like a HUGE difference in the way teachers work and also since we LEFT so long ago, the new members haven't even heard of us.
- The following points would only apply to you both, especially xin yi ( always the commentative one). I would admit cchms EDS is NOTHING to be proud of( in recent years, I also highly doubt any achievements being remembered) and all achievements can be reached cause of all other factors but not the acting. Thus, I am SURE that you girls will have enough comments on everything you see,hear,feel,smell,taste in cchms.
- This is so straightforward but it's what I think. The fact that I just heard shannon is roped in too and of course yunita, I already see a perfect performing group. I see no need in asking for more people to try and blend in with the rest. And I seriously think I do not/will not/never click with shannon. Not to mention the MANY problems that will arise during the practice (if I ever go). I feel like a prop. It's the idea of just being there, but not to be in use.

*Phew* I feel so good after writing all these down. That's the benefit of blogging(without a care) that bloggers cannot deny. Haha. Another thing that I feel about recent happenings I heard here and there, it's that sometimes, I think when people speak their mind and post what they really feel, it doesn't satisfy all people. The thing is, some people will be affected in a bad way no matter what. I feel maybe, when one really sees something that disgusts/anger/embarrass/irritate himself, there will be 2 responses. To keep quiet about it or to voice out in return. I belong to the first option. It's just that, I think this kind of behaviour should be accepted because people are really just saying what they truly feel. It isn't a fault to place the blame. So, I hope people around me won't get so agitated over what other people say. Afterall like old saying goes, ' It's their mouth(hands that type) anyway. '

2008-05-12T16:51:00.003+08:00

It's been such a long time...

Since I last blogged. Well, there's SPA but those are excuses. Excuses that have allowed me to slack for 2 whole weeks. Yes. Even after the SPA. I should start to pick myself up this week(i hope). Cause I've done some bad bad things. Maybe Santa won't visit me this year. Haha. As if I celebrate Christmas. =D

Since the last two weeks have been gone without much happening. I shall update just about today. There's something extra today, extra Maths lesson. Despite me not doing maths tutorial for the past year, Mr Ng seems to have gotten the idea I never would. That's what I infer from all the times he called me up in class. I would darely say, he only has little hope for our class. There's this little something that I have started observing after March Block Test. Or was it after Promos. He never call anyone up to the board to do maths anymore and there's always the frequent sighing and head-shaking and not to forget the last sentence of each tutorial will be : Class, the remaining questions can be done so I will go through next tutorial but you all must do hor, must try so we can move on quickly. We are already behind time. Thank you a lot ah class. That's all I have to say.

Next, my dad has to do this 'Clearing the system' thing before his SCOPE ( I think it's colon scope). And the doctor gave him this special diet: Liquids. All liquid without milk and residue, for half the day. There's this warning : The diet should not be followed for more than 3 days. I think this is a WONDERFUL slimming diet! And so I have this sudden inspiration to make WEDNESDAY, MY LIQUID DAY. I shall drink milk, water, fruit juices, water and more water. I shall slim down! Of course I will not overdo it that's why I'm drinking milk and fruit juices! I need the vitamins! Haha.

Lastly, it's something I've been dragging for a long long time. MY laptop and my GC. I want to go repair but not alone. Now I understand how my mum felt when she went to repair some stuff alone. That's why I always try to make time to accompany my mum. After saying all these, it's ironic that I didn't even wished her a 'Happy Mother's Day'.

2008-04-25T23:14:00.002+08:00

I'm Done. Not Really.

I took out my SRP worksheet for Maths at 4pm. It stayed on the table on with no solutions on my foolscap until 2 hours later. And that only solution was alone for another 2 hours. And so at 9.30 or so, I added a few friends to it. But still it was incomplete. Hopeless. It's just basic differentiation! I shall go 'Ohhhh' all the way throughout the lesson tomorrow. And to think I even told Jie Min if we could be let off early so that we can CATCH Soo Hwee's MATCH. And only by doing and understanding our tutorial well, are we able to be let off early. But somehow, I don't think I will see dearest neh neh play tomorrow.

I don't think I connect with MATHS well. Haha. That's an excuse. Ok. But I don't care! And now, I'm feeling uncomfortable in my stomach because I downed a can of MUG root beer in 5 minutes like half an hour ago. And the day before I was still wondering why I do not get stomachache over such stuff anymore. Haha. As well as Maths tutorial and lectures, I wasn't paying attention and the frequency of Mr Ng calling me in class has increased a lot. Mr Ng is a very nice guy. He tried to repair my GC even though in the end it's condition is too bad. But he still got me the address of the company for repairs. Another thing I don't connect well is TECHNOLOGY. My computer dieded on me, and my GC also despite it having dropped a long time ago and also my old calculator which has decided to run on solar energy due to my laziness in not changing the battery.

I wrote this(plus a lot of other drawings, mainly on sea creatures) during maths lecture on thursday. I don't really like the title so if any of you has any suggestion please put it forward. Thanks.

Circle of Friends

In circles where parameters lies

Placed with friendships, love, human ties

Decisions, inferences, even assumptions

All things good but never pretention

Clear lines to be made erasable

As long-lasting is impossible

Entrance and exit, just the same

Only shifting some useless names

Never ever to be define

As true friends are just so hard to find.

2008-04-20T20:22:00.003+08:00

I had...

One Medium Fries
One Large Milo
One Fillet-o-fish
Four pieces of nuggets
Three McWings
One cup of Corn

All for DINNER.

Ok, close your mouth please. Enough jaw-dropping for the moment. Good news is - I did a little work-out this morning. So hopefully, it kinda lessens my guilt. On the other hand, I have a lot of things I want to blog about but yet, because there is a limit to my file-retrieving rate of my brain and also the amount of memory space I have up there, I kinda have nothing to write about. Just complaints here and there which I do not want to bore my readers. Haha. So here's a feww sentences which might or might not interest you.

Sometimes, when we say we don't know, on the contrary, we just know. It's just that the information of which we know is kinda complicated. Thus, to lessen the problems, we say 'I don't know.

Sometimes, when you think you did a lot, so much so that you hoped someone would recognise that effort. And it takes just one small mistake, one small action, to put you into the misery you dread. This is life. There are external factors in the world, factors you just can't blame. Try to be the best, even though it's highly impossible.

Sometimes, when we think of the world as the way we would want it, it came out different. And these times, you will learn something. Something valuable that's called 'Life Lessons'. I have learnt to look at the world not through the eyes of a naive boy, but through coloured spectacles. Even sunglasses would not hide the ugliness of the society we live in.

When I write all these, it's not that I copied these 'philosophies' or something. Actually, there are events which sparked off these thoughts into me. Events that did not even happen to me. Events that affected my friends, thus affecting me.

Friendship is the only beautiful thing that is left in the tainted world. Yet, it may not last.

2008-04-12T21:27:00.002+08:00

Hollowed out.

Ok. This post won't have any pictures because my laptop has dieded on me. And thus, I am using the desktop which my brother has gracefully and gernerously let me use. Sometimes, I think being too good to him isn't at all bad. Although, it might also have been the fact that he was kinda disturbed by me staring at his screen while he play his own stuff for the last.... 2 hours? Haha. Talk about desperate actions.

Nevertheless, the friday was meant to celebrate the seniors excellence in the A levels. And thus I spent quite a relaxing day out in the city at Chinatown and Clark Quay. Took some nice pictures too. Some bring backs memories though. Childhood is but a distant thing in the past. Found this reataurant at Chinatown Point that serves vegetarian indian cuisine. The catch is, you decide the amount you pay. Because it is a charity restaurant where the proceeds go to some charity. I paid 5 bucks for a mini buffet lunch. Not that I underpaid, but it's that the food is within 10 items and well 4 of them are sauces. So it's worthwhile I would say. Also the drinks are very nice! It helped clear my bowels too, twice! Next, we went to Manhattan Fish Market. Like it is very good! The ambience, I would say, is better than Fish N Co. The food is comparable, and the price somewhat there but it seems cheaper though. I would want to ask my dad to bring me there someday. Cause he will be the one PAYING! HAHA. Oh, on the side note, I'M BROKE. Ya, that's the sad truth. I can't believe I didn't manage my finances well. I guess I just happened to have spent too much lah.

Today, went back to my ex-school, CCHMS. Typically, people will feel a sense of say.... nostalgia? But in fact, I didn't. Maybe to the lake. I didn't bother to look up any of my form/subject teachers up except Mrs Han. Even when I saw some of my ex-classmates, I didn't stay to talk for even 5 minutes. Haha. How heartless can I get? The most 'memorial' incident would be the queueing up at the very last hour for food to spend our remaining coupons. It's to be expected that there will be last minute changes and I was even prepared to have queued for over half an hour without getting food. I didn't complain. Why should anyone else? Much lesser to those who didn't queue. I am not blaming you two. In fact, I am glad you respected my decision on not letting you both cut the queue. I am damn serious about this kinda things. I do not want any of us to stoop to the level of unruly behaviour of uncivilised Singaporeans. If you think we did not deserve this kinda treatment, I dare ask you to spend some time to write a complain letter and expect no reply. Actually, I am not angry or whatsoever. It's just that these few days, despite the 'joyous occasion' nothing good really came out of it. And I've been very tired with the realisation of the upcoming hwk and tests in this weekend which I'm suppose to have loads of time yet due to future upcoming events and past strings attached, I have kindly used the time for other purposes. Tommorrow, there's Qing Ming. I have to endure the heat while praying and also finding time in between to read my econs and bio notes. I shall take it as training.

I can't stand the hypocrisy that revolves around the world today. Yet it is these hypocritical people that keeps the world going. After all, we have to view the world hypocritically. Yes, I shall be a hypocrite. The world is a happy place. I love it.

2008-04-09T21:52:00.003+08:00

Life isn't that great after all.

I don't know if it's the weather or the stress from our daily lives, people around me are facing so much problems. So much that the usual smiles on their faces have overturned into a frown. Why do I say it's the weather? Well, because these few days, the weather is so hot, everyone was getting more easily irritated and flustered. And on Tuesday, it rained, quite heavily too. And somehow, the atmosphere changed. Not the weather but the feeling from the students. That's what I felt different. Maybe it is also due to the fact that some students need not run anymore. I still remembered how the girls in my class mainly Candy and Kang Li were smiling away.

Some stuff in school have made me think hard. Say Chemistry. I would agree that our class is weak in chem yet I do not support the idea of forcing loads of worksheets on us. I would gladly appreciate it if he could just stream out the weaker students or just let us do the worksheets on our own and maybe a test here and there on the questions to see whether we understand or not. Just by making us do ALL of the clinic worksheets will not improve our standard by large. Mainly, there are those copiers(like me) and those that do on the spot during the tutorial. Seriously, just by writing a few craps in the answers, you could say 'I've tried, but I cannot finish.' Then what's the point? That's why, given so little time, I am not going to do the tutorial, but just make sure I understand what's going on and whether I am able to do it. Through copying I learn. Haha. I admit, I dislike his method, thus it makes me dislike chemistry. Teachers do affect the likability of the subject. I was about to cry out today if he said we are to finish some other work for chem tmr. But lucky he didn't, still I wouldn't do it anyway. Haha.

I was contemplating as to whether the stuff we are currently studying in school will come to be handy in the future. I sort of reached an answer with the help of Aaron. Aiming to be an all-rounded society, our education system is made so that we will be able to excel in all areas. Thus the new system of JC curriculum of the contrasting H1 subjects. However, the increase in content has also made the studies in Singapore much more heavy. Despite that, people who have the 'kiasu-ism' will want to excel so to be able to reach success in society. And only through paper qualifications will one's ability be recognised especially in Singapore. I know this has been said many many many times, but it's reality after all. So we study for the sake of grades and not content. Content is there for us to realise it actually relates to our everyday lives yet it isn't reflected so in the media. Reason : Not many would understand/remember the things and theories they learnt. In truth, I agree that we can apply our knowledge to explain the current ongoings in our world today, like the crazy snatch for rice can relate to our economics. But it doesn't help much accept for our understanding, not that it will deter such typical actions of Singaporeans.

You might think I was rude or that I do not care about your feelings. Please, stand in my shoes or anyone's else but yours, and look at yourself. Do you deserve so much from me or anyone else? Do not take things for granted. Life won't go your way, even if it is yours to handle.

I have some contradictions in mind, as to how people handle relationships, not only love, but also friendships. It's ironic to a certain extent in some way, yet truthful as to how the nature of humans are.

2008-04-01T19:47:00.003+08:00

Political Weight.

What lies after PE has made me learnt a few lessons. Important lessons that will help in the survival of society. In fact, I have discussed about it in my secondary school days with my friends. We all have seen it, felt it, or even participated in it. It is something scary yet no one dares questions it. POLITICS. Even t such young age where one might question the maturity of teenagers, politics has played a major role in our lives. Who gets the job and who doesn't? The deciding factor, more often then not, is non other than the politics that goes behind closed doors.

The event that took place after PE was non other than the heats of something that is going to happen on 18th of April. Even when it was a last minute notice as to the date and time of the heats which was just 20 minutes away after we were informed, we kinda got ourselves a few remaining classmates to participate. So in the end, it was Kang Li(poor girl), Ting Xu, Sheng Wei and ME. The other 2 guys thought there might be a chance of winning, depending on the opposing team. However, it was decided at the last minute(again) that girls of 07S309 and Daniel will join us. Despite the unfairness in the decision, that is not my main point. In fact, it is about the 2 teams that competed before us. S304 and S305. The thing that hapenned was this. S304, having a large and steady 'anchor' Felix, was bound to win as compared to the scrawny maybe a bit muscular guys in the latter class. And so it really happened to the first 2 rounds. The people were enjoying the short moment of victory until a fellow opponent spoke up. And who happens to be the 'fellow opponent' but the most prominent figure in the faculty which the students are participating in this reducdant heat to represent. And so the 'lackeys' of the faculty were told that some of the rules were broken and they have to rematch. And so they did, twice. We could see that S304 had given up despite their true strength was the real winner. For they have seen and understood the strength that can win all these was not muscles, but politics. Who would allow the prominent figure to lose to another team which relied on their abilities? Political strings were pulled, and thus so did the winning position. Such was the politics in the non-academic sector.

Another example, would be yet another very powerful organization that exists in all the tertiary education systems. Nominees as seen in Presidential Election were pulling votes from the student body. And hence it has shown that the student body has a part to play in deciding who makes the rules, enforce the rules and 'listen' to what we hace to say. Yet this is not the real deciding factor in making some people's dreams come true. To be exact, the dark underground actions were the ones that decided who gets to wear that simplistic badge that holds authority. As heard from the grapevine, there are some nominees who has not garnered enough votes to be accepted as an enforcer of the school rules. Yet because of his/her close and 'intellectural' ties with the few vital individuals who holds the last decision, they have climbed up the ladder towards success with no need for the votes of the student body. However, not all of the nominees depended on these external push to climb up step by step themselves. There were most that really worked their way into the student body's heart and touched us with their sincerity and promises. They were not neglected and with the support of the student body, the path towards their goals were paved. Even though there were some who couldn't climb up that ladder due to their attitude in the past that leads to the barrier that prevents them to do so.

And hence, this is the true yet ugly side in school that not many adults have seen. Due to the change in times, politics has moved towards the younger generation and is played as if it was a toy. However, this 'toy' has the deciding power in bringing success. The cost will be losing friends and your true self as the darkness of such underhand methods allures you deeper, and of course having more people like me critising you. In fact, these politics are just a smaller scale version of that that can be seen later in our lives. Having no mind to question big scale event that affects the entire country, I shall be like the other meek commoners who dare not speak up against the wrong actions done so by the one who holds the power.

Today, other than being very tired and having dosed off in lessons much more than all the years in my life, I have written the BORING essay which consists of my views of this disgusting thing that shall affect my life in the future. So have a fun time reading! Haha.

2008-03-28T22:19:00.002+08:00

Tendencies.

I have this tendency to tell you to shut up.

I have this tendency to just slap you.

I have this tendency to say the F-word in your face.

I have this tendency to stick my middle finger in your eye.

I have this tendency to push you up the wall.

I have this tendency to pressure you until you cry.

I have this tendency to mean what I say especially when it's mean.

I have this tendency to tell you the truth and stop deluding yourself.

I have this tendency to destroy your perfect image of something or someone by saying very nasty things.

I have this tendency to be so sarcastic you wished you didn't know me at all.

I have this tendency to be so furious I'm typing all these things which most of them will not happen.

I have this tendency to start crying all of a sudden(yet I already lost that feeling).

I have this tendency to wish I was born in a different family.

I have this tendency to just sit down and stare into space as a 'break' for a period in my life.

I have this tendency to imagine the worst things that may happen.

I have this tendency to look on the bright side despite whatever may happen.

I have this tendency to deceive myself.

I have this tendency to hide behind a mask.

I have this tendency to deceive others.

I have this tendency to never tell the truth.

I have this tendency to just die.

I have this tendency to write all these stuff which I really thought about but wouldn't do much about it.

I am filed with mixed emotions. I don't know why. Maybe it's hormonal imbalance?! HAHA. Ok. I feel so much better. Sometimes, the brain is so saturated with useless stuff, you have to put it somewhere. It is still ovvupying a space after all. My 2nd post. LOL.

2008-03-28T20:34:00.002+08:00

The marks have shown...

So I already know some of my results. Mixed reactions. Needless to say, it's almost the same for promos last year. People feel that the fruits of the efforts are not as sweet as it should be. Whereas there are who didn't expect the sweet succes to be at their lips. For me, there are some here and there but mostly, I know what I should get. One can say I'm too eay-going, or maybe my expectations of myself is just too low, too low for a JC student who expects a few As in their final resut slip. Yet, I know myself the best. Effort-wise, I have no doubt. I did not put in much. Thus I cannot expect the results to be sweet too. Moderately will be enough.

I have a few comments on what I have seen these past few years on students who are getting results. Of course, I too have applied those advice on myself, thus I am being so satisfied with my results,despite it being a failure. Firstly, I always ask myself. Do I deserve this, TRUELY? More often than not, I do. Because I know what I have done. Because I reflect on the attention and focus I spent. Because I know this is what I should be able to get. Say for chem paper. I would say I put in the most effort for it in comparison to other subjects, yet it is not to the extent of getting a pass. But the result I get is below my expectation. I question myself. As hard it is for others to believe, there is always a factor on the difficulty of the paper. Ok, I should stop now. I do not want people to start staring at me in school. Haha.

On the other note my sea mokeys grew a little bit. Btu there seem to be some missing though. LOL. But there is this ugly greenish layer of algae at the bottom of the tank. So yucky. I shall wait and see how it goes. Haha. Oh and I knida 'influenced' Soo Hwee'ssister to buy Sea monkeys too! Haha. Sea monkey is very fun! It's like a small stepping stone to getting my own AQUARIUM! Haha.

Sometimes, when I walk out of home, into this certain area which I have to go through before reaching East Point, I will stop. And look at the sky. Only after my trip in Perth than I realised that the sky is very beautiful. Dispite raining or sunny. The patterns are the great works of Nature. The clouds are so fluffy and soft. It is unattainable beauty. But can only be captured in photographs. Despite being in different countries, the sky looks the same as it is the one and only. It is how you look at it. Set your imagination at work and you be able to see the silver lining.

Yet it doesn't reflect.

2008-03-26T16:45:00.002+08:00

New ADD!!!

Hey peeps! This is MY NEW BLOG ADDRESS! ENJOY!

2008-03-22T18:44:00.005+08:00

Eating AGAIN.

Ok. This Good Friday wasn't as good as it should be. I shall start the tale now.

Firstly, my dad said he wanted to bring us to eat 'hao liao' - Good Food. And we do not know how 'good' it is. And he's been pestering me to find out the way to go to 'York Hotel', which is in some part of Orchard Road. So I finally found the way, it's behind Far East Plaza. It looks ulu even though it's a 4 Star Hotel. So the day started with me, the last person to wake up after being shouted at by my father. He was anxious/hungry and can't wait to go to the hotel. He claimed that it started at 11am and the time then was say... 10.20? So we setted out finally at 10.40am. I wasn't really hungry. And my bro wanted to SHIT. He's full of it. Just like my father, especially in the morning. The nearest toilet to alighting at Orchard Road was Wisma Atria! But HE was in such a hurry HE said Tang Plaza is on the way so 'Go to the toilet THERE.' And my mum who has worked at Orchard Road before knows that the toilet in Tang Plaza is very inaccessible as it is very inside. But NOOOO HE thinks he owns the place! HE insisted on going there. So we went, we looked, my mum spoke. We continued walking. My bro was kinda fed-sup that he lost the 'feel' to SHIT.

So we finally reached the hotel after climbing a small small steep hill. The hotel's exterior is really sucky. The interior still acceptible. It was 11.24pm. And guess what?! The buffet started at 12 pm. =.= And it's PENANG HAWKER FARE. We just went to PENANG like 3 months ago. I guess HE forgot what HE ate. Mindless eating-machines, HIM and my brother. The food is so-so, we had to queue for the mediocre amount of food, which doesn't really explain the price of the buffet, served in tiny plates where each person is only allowed to take 2 servings. My brother and me worked hand-in-hand to get the food we want as HE was acting like a wild dog that starved for days. And the thing I dreaded most happened. HE queued for the food. It was near HIS turn. HE beckoned to us, asking someone to go and CUT QUEUE. My brother acted ignorant and urged me to go. So I became the 'devil'. I debated with HIM saying I can queue, but NO HE insisted it's ok, until the food was handed to me and an auntie(tai-tai) who was right behind HIM spoke up.

Auntie(A) : Eh, he didn't queue up leh.

HIM:But I queue mah.

A: But he didn't! He shouldn't take the food.

HIM: I did so it's ok! We are FAMILY. I queued for him.

A: Then like that not fair to the other people, not fair to the people behind.

HIM: There's no such thing as fair. I queue for him so he can take. Nothing in the world is fair.(push me away)

A: Even my sister queue in front I also didn't cut queue, I joined the queue from the start.

HIM: So what? I queue for him mah. ( And he left, I didn't really see the last few sentence but we all can guess what happen.)

And throughout the meal, he kept on emphasizing the 'Guailan Auntie' is STUPID. We can't be bothered with him. I feel so ashamed to take the food just now. Luckily the caterer allowed me to take the food, if not, I really don't know how HE will react. I am so __________(fill in the blank yourself).

But something GOOD came out of Friday. I BOUGHT MY SEA-MONKEY SET!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. This set consist of the basic starting kit AND a keychain where I an put a few Sea-monkey and BRING OUT, meaning I can bring a few of the BABIES to SCHOOL! HAHA. WHOOHOO!!!!! My childhood dream is halfway realised! The other half will be to keep my sea-monkey farm alive and ongoing for as long as I can, meaning they grow, give birth, die, grow... etc! And just 1 hour ago, I added the EGGS(half packet, I shall keep the rest in case my st try fail) to the purified water. The aquarium now looks a bit weird as there are black specks floating around and at the bottom. Also there are dust particles(I presume) so it looks like dirty water. Well the website says it takes around 3 days for them to hatch and then I should be able to see black dots swimming around. I doubt they will be big enough to bring to school on monday though so guys, I know you are just as excited but I'm sorry. I do not want my babies to be face the TERRIBLE WORLD OUTSIDE until they are all grown up. =DD YES! Hahahahaha. I can't wait for the day where they become VISIBLE.

2008-03-20T22:25:00.002+08:00

Wheeeee~

Ahhh. MBTs are over! I must say, the papers are not that difficult. I think it's just me, or us, who haven't really studied/put in efforts. Me and yini both agreed that Econs was kinda direct, so was Bio, or at least we kinda understand the question. The rest. Well, better not talk about it. Haha. I think jiemin is right. We can't really slack off even if MBTs are over. There are further hurdles that are higher and more strenuous. However, looking on the brighter side, we did jump over the last hurdle that was presented in front of us. All we have to do now is to wait for the muscle aches to appear and then we will know by how much do we need to practice and improve. So while waiting, we can choose to study/revise on our notes. But I think since we haven't really know what went wrong where, why not just take a breather. Restore our strength and then when the time is right, keep on moving. We cannot stay stagnant. But we cannot stay stressed and tired all the time too. We must have lives. Who said going into JC curriculum equals to having no life?! Haha.

Thus we, the usuals, had a VERY VERY FUN outing today! Watched a movie, damn long ago since I watched my last one. Step Up 2! It is a really great movie. Everything was like a very long bullet train ride. So fast. So slick. So cool. So hot. So GREAT. I wouldn't mind watching it again. Or actually, it would be even better to own the Step Up movie series! Then we went to eat our long awaited Sakae Sushi BUFFET. Bu-fei. Say eat 'not fat' but actually we will turn fat. HAHAHA. Okay. That's so lame. Ordered a lot! I think the waiter might have thought we can't finish. Kang Li really ate a lot. Soo Hwee too. They both even bought BreadTalk's Nachos Cheese bread for dinner! I bet they already finished it. Haha. We ate at Wheelock's Place. My first time being there! Actually, I have not been to many shopping centres in Orchard Road. Well, other than going out with friends, I haven't really walked the ENTIRE Orchard Road. Kinda like a mountain tortoise here. Haha.

Recently, or mainly 2 days ago, I got hooked up to this 'Pokemon' Game. Yes! I admit. I still like those stupid and illogical creatures that have extreme and ridiculous powers! And I spreaded the pokemon disease to my brother! Haha. He is hooked too! (Maybe this was all along my conspiracy! As he just bragged to me he got straight A1s for his CA1.*roll eyes*) Another sad sad thing happened. My phone decided to be defiant of my commands. And it happened right after my first paper. Now, I can't visit my inbox, outbox, send/receive msgs - lost my messaging service! So I'm sorry guys, for the inconveniece caused.

Gosh, I'm coughing so hard it feels as if my lungs are gonna come out anytime soon.

Is the plane taking off or landing? It's the way the camera choose the angle. How one sees things, it's always from the angle. Choose the nicer one lah!

2008-03-11T17:29:00.002+08:00

Thank You.

The flu battle is still continuing although the medicine and anti-biotics seem to be winning. Yet my body still detects the virus as my fever have not subside. Up and Down, Up and Down. My father suspected it was Chikugunga. My friend thought I caught Dengue. It is just FLU, Influenza.

I was asleep, having quite a pleasant dream. When I felt a hand. It was smooth, full of concern and care. It was more pleasant than the dream I was having. I was aroused from my sleep, yet I know here's no need to open my eyes, cause I know, the hand belongs to someone, someone who cares. I have never felt this feeling for so long. I was touched and so I had the most wonderful sleep ever. Today, you are cooking. Despite my lack of appetite, it is rare of you to cook. I shall eat to my fill. All these feelings have been 'lost' or rather seldom shown. Maybe it's because we've grown up.

I love the feeling of being loved. Who doesn't?

2008-03-09T15:37:00.002+08:00

Sleep, Eat, Watch TV, Sleep, Eat, Use Laptop.

I was sick or so I think. I think I am feeling better. Morning - 38.8 degrees. Whoo! Talk about HOT! Haha. Dun think I could even walk in a straight line. So I ate a bit of breakfast and medicine then went to sleep. And here I am, afte my nap. I woke up to use laptop! To read on GP materials lah! Haha. I don't think I can finish maths. It's my last priority.

Ok, this shall be my last post before block test! Haha. I shall update on the thursday my last paper! Sorry, I think there's a lot of grammar errors. Haha. Whooopii doo..... LOL. I am very hungry. Hmmm... I want to eat SOTONG BALLS.

Bye bye.

2008-03-06T21:25:00.004+08:00

Digging out GOLD

YES! My brother is not at home!!!! He went to some part of Malaysia call Kahang for CAMP. Haha Happy suffering. I do not miss him. In fact, I ENJOY the lack of his company! Haha. And I find my mum very irritating as she keeps aking whether he got sms me anot. Cause my parents ask him to sms them once a day. Zzzzzz And apparently, he only sms things like 'I've eaten,' 'I'm going to sleep', 'I've reached Malaysia.' to my dad. And that makes my mum slightly relieved as to whether my brother is alive or not. Haha. I confess : I even thought of what would I fel if he *ahem* (touch wood) But I was overwhelmed by a very very sad feeling so I do not think about such stuff anymore. A family without any one member, is not a family anymore.

I just packed my paraphenalia of worksheets and sort of organized them into the subjects they belong to. Thus, I am kinda free now! Haha. And I haven planned on how and what to study for the upcoming holiday. I just hope I have enough time. If not, I WILL DIE. Haha. And fter packing, I stacked the files BACK into the CUPBOARD. LOL.

Tmr's A' level results release! I thought PW's results will also be released tmr but I guess not. And I was excited for nothing. Ok, not only excited, but there are worries and anxiousness too. Afterall, we did put in a lot of effort and I have to say a BIG THANK YOU to my WONDERFULLY FANTASTIC GROUP MATES!

Jiemin - Although sometimes you scare me with your ambitions, you gave us a direction to work our goals to. And I really really appreciate all your late-nights that contributed to PW and especially our WR and Group Project File. Thanks a lot! (",)

Joycelyn - You never fail to live up to our expectations in doing your part and your creativity and hardwork for OP was seen and acknowledged by all of us. I am grateful for having such a GREAT team-mate and for being such a plesant GIRL. =D

Kang Li - No matter how blur you are, you still did a FANTASTIC job! Being helpful and always asking for more workload to be shared to you, you have lifted a huge burden off not only me, but everyone else's shoulders by completing your work and also helping us in every way you can. Despite your shallow knowledge of the COMPUTER and being not-so-IT-savvy, you made it up by being the 'entertainment' for US! Haha. PW wouldn't be as fun without you! =P

Raihanna - Nothing to say. Your works speak for themselves and you. Beautiful Banner. Excellent Advertisement. Creative Ideas. Marvellous artworks and PPTs. Detailed parts. You provided such GREAT HELP to our OP and WR! We really really LOVE your banners and advertisements! Your IT skills gave us an EDGE over other groups! Despite the small bumps through the path of PW, I am very very HONOURED to have you in our group! :))

To all my groupmates, THANKS FOR EVERYTHING. ; D

A flower has 5 beautiful petals, that's what makes it STUNNING.
A group with 5 WONDERFUL MEMBERS, that's what makes it SUCCESSFUL.

2008-03-03T20:25:00.002+08:00

SEA MONKEYS!!!!

I want SEA MONKEYS! I want to keep them in so many different types of glass bowls / tanks that I can't stop thinking of! Then see them mate, give birth and swim and mate again, give birth again and swim more and more and more!!!! Did you know, adult males have 3 EYES!!! Haha.

YES! The last test is OVER! Left the big jumps. One coming up this coming monday! Haha. I slacked and read the entire website of the sea monkey retailer. Haha. I just found out Toys R Us got sell. I was thinking of whether the shopping spree website Soo Hwee and Candy often go to got sell anot. Then I even yahoo-ed it and found eBAY. Haha. It's ok, I shall go TM someday and find my SEA MONKEYS!!!!!!

I have so little time, I'm starting to plan WHERE to go to study during march hols. Haha. Note, not WHAT to study but WHERE to study. LOL. Ok, that's all I have for today. Good Night.

2008-03-01T12:46:00.003+08:00

It scares me...

I had something new and great installed in my room. Yet, it scares me. It gives me the responsibility which I dare not shoulder, but somehow, through the decision of him, it was placed, with the rest of the burden. I don't know what he was thinking. Just weeks go, threats were issued like they mean nothing to me. And now, a little sweetness was given. Too sweet for me to handle. I shiver at the thought of all the effort I have to put in. 7 months for 4 years. Enough of that. I still got 2 more years of the other suffering I have to go through. Fear? Excitement? Desperate. I don't know. It's another matter which I hope it won't be too bad.

Just yesterday, I slacked a whole day. I want to study, I thought there weren't much homework. Until the sms came. And I realised, I can't put one whole day of tomorrow for studying Chem only. It won't be enough. It's already 1pm. I switched on the computer and hoped someone, any one that I can connect to, to come online. Even if it's you guys, who won't know what homework I might have, I do not mind. I too have to confess, I always wait for someone who is most probably Candy, (haha) to come online and then we'll talk about homework together. More like complain. I always have this kind of thinking : If all of us are to suffer, why suffer alone? At least we'll have each other by our sides.

1.05pm.

It's Saturday. No one, except me is at home. So quiet. Too quiet. I can't do work. I want to find a place bustling with people, people I know. To which all of them ignore me and treat me as invisible while I study, and life revolves around me. I want to go somewhere, somewhere private, known only to me yet has many many people. I wonder how I'm going to finish everything I need to know in one week. I know I can do it, but how well will I be able to do it? For this upcoming obstacle, I do not aim high, I only wish I can cruise over the barricade without falling. I know, I should.

I shall aim to start work LATEST by 1.30! Then I shall do work until...3.30. Then I shall go run or jog or do whatever workout I want to do. Until I come back bath and everything else, It'll be 5. So I shall start work again at that time, until 6 or 6.30 then slack and dinner and everything other thing else, If possible, I will do work AGAIN at 8.30. Of course, I do not expect me to focus by tat time, thus I should glance through my notes for the upcoming test, then tomorrow, it'll be drilling with practise. YES. That's it. I must start my own motor running. No one is going to start it up for me. Me, myself and I. It is a selfish world after all.

1.10 pm.

I want to fly freely. Even if it's short lived I do not mind. Yet I also know, the butterfly got its wings only after it survived and evolved through the hardships of the world. Metamorphosis, I await that day.

2008-02-26T17:12:00.032+08:00

F-O-T-O-S!!!

Me = Volunteer! And look! I have a friend who's surname is MAGNESIUM!

Lunch was ... edible. But who gets a chance to sit at padang field and eat lunch!?!? Haha.

Trying to copy the dunno what brand phone advertisement. I wonder whose bear is this...

JELLYFISH! My FAVOURITE item of the entire Chingay.

The HARLEY DAVIDSON(should be spelled this way, I think) GANG! Haha. I like this one where it kinda looks like a manta ray. But my camera skills too lousy lah, didn't take it.

These vintage cars are so cool! And the drivers are those SUPER RICH aunties and uncles! Next time when I'm like... 60? I shall own a harley davidson! Haha

Who's gonna get married?! These people are! Haha.

Too fast and furious. The only thing I took that is related to the F1 car is the stretch marks it left behind on the road.

SOIREE!!!!!

We went to support this very spastic girl in our class. Scroll down to find out who it is. Haha.

Ooops! Does this picture looks SCANDALOUS?!?!?! FYI, the heart is I draw de, with the chocolate from the complimentary cake.

STONING-IN-PROGRESS. DISTURB AT YOUR OWN RISK.

The flash kinda STUNNED Charleen! Haha.

I like light sticks! Mine's still in my fridge. Haha. Last time I heard people say put in fridge wil last longer. Dunno why, but I still put. Haha. Ok so these are the photos I took recently! And please do not forget to go see my 'Colours' submission in schol! Have a GD EVENING!

2008-02-24T16:16:00.002+08:00

Anticipation really has no value.

It's either you get it, or not.

I see no need, in hoping.

For you know it yourself, how bad it should be.

Don't cheat yourself, face the truth.

Don't hide yourself, see the world.

Once you close yor eyes, you see darkness.

Once you open them, light is what lets you see.

Tommorrow's Bio test. And soon, it's March Block Test.

Do or die. I choose to die. Let nature takes it course? While I strive against the current.

Will the current push me further down, or will it strengthen me with experience?

Nature is the path I took. I shall walk it down, till the very end with no regrets.

It was nice meeting you. Not much change that I expected. Hope to see you again. Deep down, I really hoped you paid for that meal. Haha. Enjoy your NS! It'll be my turn soon, and I dread it. =D

2008-02-20T17:11:00.006+08:00

Hilo World!

Wah. It's been a long time since I last blogged. Haha. Updates. Valentine's Day is a very expensive day. Haha. Ok lah. It's once a year only so I dont mind. (I'm sorry Drama Gang. Hehe.) I bought flowers wor! First time bought flowers can. Haha. And I bought a total of 10 flowers! Haha.It was very weird for me to carry the 4 lilies walking around the Tampines neighbourhood trying to find the other flowers. Haha. And I bought and packed CHOCOLATES for the WHOLE CLASS except for the GUYS and those who received flowers from moi. Haha. I packed them in a very nice plastic bag ok! I bought 100 pieces, well that's the smallest number of plastic bags available. So I have say... 70 left. Haha. And those wire ribbons too. So anyone needs these kinda things can come find me. Oh! Maybe we can wrap something for the TEACHERS on T's Day! Haha.

Hmm. Next up was CHINGAY! The people sucked lah. Seriously. There's a GAY who thinks he's the boss, a girl who thinks she's pretty and high up there or something and many more irritating people. Haha. Ok lah. Not all sheeps are black. Some of the group mates are quite good and FUN. Haha. Oh well. I shall let the pictures talk(some other day)!

And I went for more bai-nianing on 17th! Haha. MORE ANGBAOS! Recoup some of the money spent on Vday. Finally went to Uncle Aaron's House! Haha. And I am so jealous of Ying Hui's house. I wonder if her mum wants a godson. Haha. It's ok! I shall earn my own money and then buy my own MANSION! Where I have my own VEGETABLE PLOT! Haha.

You showed my your best side and wouldn't show anymore. Maybe you let your guard down, for your almost perfect facade slipped off at some moments. I wonder why it exist, but I'm as guilty. Cheers to the NEW YEAR!

2008-02-11T19:45:00.000+08:00

The Magic Number - 1 8

I can Smoke

I can Drink Alcohol

I can go CLUBBING

I can watch M18

I can get MARRIED (A hint to certain someone who wants to get married this year.)

I can do lots more(which I can't think of)

YES!!! The first MAGIC NUMBER in my life! The next one will be 21 where I can do lots and lots more!!! It's TOTAL FREEDOM. Then it'll be 30, cause I WILL have earned my 1st MILLION!!! Then it'll be 70. When I retire and enjoy life(maybe I might retire earlier).

Ahhahaha. CNY is fun fun fun! Actually, meeting up with my cousins is always fun. I don't remember us having any dispute before, ever! I counted my 'earnings'. Not say a lot and not say little. It's how different people look at it. Well, with so many occasions and spending round the corner, it'll last me ... awhile. I've got to save at least half of it. Another thing I've deposited on myself is all the goodies that I ate. Ahhh.... Must run off the fats!!! Not only from those goodies, but EVERYTHING ELSE! Talk is CHEAP, it's almost FREE. Haha.

Birthday!!! My dad's was yesterday, same as Choon Tee. I bought him a slice of cake you know! Despite him giving that attitude on 3rd day of New Year. Haiz, shall talk about it no more! And we went to eat at SAKAE. I can't believe I ate so little! Haha. I would say the whole family's appetite has decreased! Last time, we would finish off say 30+ normal coloured plates plus 2 bowls of ramen or udon! But yesterday, we only had 26 plates and 1 bowl of beef ramen! And to think I myself can finish around 16 plates during the peak of my buffet spread. Haha. Today, had BLACK FOREST. My mum said we'll celebrate my bithday around next weekend, since we are all so busy. I don't mind. But hearing how others have cake + restaurant + hongbao + present, I'm a little bit envious and unsatisfied. What to do, just enjoy what I have lor! (",)

AHHHH!!! Can't type anymore longer le! I have TONNES of HWK waiting. And to think I even had a chat with candy and told her I'm starting work where in fact I'm blogging! Haha.

2008-02-02T17:15:00.000+08:00

Holiday!!!

Although CNY is round the corner, I somehow feel that it is a very short holiday. Don't know why. Maybe it's the because I feel that these few days passed by so quickly, January's gone before you know it. And it really is GONE.

I somehow felt very free from the end of the MATHS test (which was a KILLER) up till now. Free because 2 tests had ended. Free because holiday is near. Free because the weekend s not so pack. Up till now. Choon Tee had just listed out the whole chuk of homework to be done. Notto forget GP file. 5 articles!!! Can die leh. I've listed the work to be done and also prioritise them.

1) GP file + 5 articles.

2) Chem clinic worksheet and also study for the consolidation exercise.

3) Definite Integral tutorial II

4) Study for chem test!!!

5) Biology tutorial on DIVERSITY (How I wish I could divert that away.)

6) Econs Essay question 1 and case study 1

And so my feeling of euphoria was gone in that instant.

Thanks a million people. I really needed that. And on my way home, I realised something. It's not that long since the last time we met. I guess I just asked for too much. Yet I'm glad I could see you all again. Thinking too much. That's a first. Haha.

2008-01-27T09:30:00.000+08:00

It was just a DREAM...

I had a very strange dream, where I can't believe the people involved, the things that happened and the feeling I felt.

Why was it you? I don't recall any interactions with you for these past few days. Not even a thought of you appeared in my mind. Was it my subconscious? Was it what I really wanted? I would hope it really happened, and that you were the one. However, I know it's going to be difficult or maybe impossible. It wasn't you. It was the 'you' that I wanted, the 'perfect you'. Yet I still can't believe it was carved out of your image.

What made that happen? Too much tv may have affected my thinking. I think it might even have made my desires stronger. Seeing how the characters react, may have sown that seed into me, and now, it has sprouted. It may be the happy ending/scenario I wanted. Everything was going so smoothly - that's why it's a dream.

It was a very pleasant feeling, reaching to the bottom of my heart and dwelling there as I type. It somehow spreads throughout the entire body. Since the moment the interaction began, I had this feeling. Is this the feeling I lacked? The first time I felt such way, not even in the past, where I claimed I had. Maybe, those in the past were just immature thinkings. Maybe, this is the REAL feeling. I don't want it to go away, I hope it stays. Yet, only in dreams will it reappear.

Fund-raising later. I hope I'm paired with jiemin, the remaining fellow classmate in the same group. (Yes, I am still sad about it. Sad, not angry. It'll be over.) Chinatown. It'll be bustlng with people buying CNY goods. Oh, maybe we can go there to buy decorations for the class! Haha. Yeap! Making the best out of everything! And what a combination, class rep with treasurer! Haha. All it lacks is the one that's in charge of decorating the board. My parents said they wanted to come and see me, ore like double-check. So I told them to at least donate $10 if they want to see me. Haha. Maybe I should have asked for more. LOL. Chinatown got lots of things to EAT! Haha.

ENFP - we have to talk about it.

2008-01-26T18:46:00.000+08:00

Waiting in Line...

College road race. Fun? Not really. Exciting? Not like last year. Shocked? Definitely. I can't believe triton was announced as 5th for don't know which part of the race. Well, in fact, triton didn't even get into the top 3 for OVERALL. Surprise surprise...

Despite running and sweating off the calories, I've not only gained them back but maybe got more of them after lunch, at KFC. Haha. Well, at least I won't gain as much as Ting Cu. 3 pieces of chicken, Zinger, cheese fries. While I only had ZINGER. Haha. But people slim and fit leh, not like me. Haha.

Actually, that's not all I ate for lunch. About 1 hour later, I was stuffing Sweddish meatballs down my throat. Yes. Those from IKEA! Haha. Heavenly!!! Went to COURTS later because my father had won this sms contest and hence had a chance to go at the 'Wheel of Fortune' to win prizes lah. Time I reached : 2.55 p.m.

While I wait in line, my parents went to see what's to be won and also redeem all the goodies that's available there, FOC of course. I feel that it's already quite good that at least he won the chance to get something home. It doesn't really matter what he gets, it's still a win, a gain. So I was prepared that he will win some sucky thing and he sure did. Well, before it was his turn, which is like damn long ago, he was already complaining that the big prizes are gone and that he had not much chances. Frustrated, irritated and displeased he was, it kinda affected me too and so I also felt that way. Time we left : 5.55 p.m

They say Singaporeans spend 3 years of their lives in queues. I guess I just spent 3 hours today.

2008-01-23T19:55:00.000+08:00

Seriously...

This weekend is going to be VERY BUSY. With road race, CIP for SCWO, Heartware Fund Raising, the weekend will be gone before I even unpack my bag.

Today is WEDNESDAY. TGIW~! It means the timetable from wednesdays onward is short short SHORT! Had CCA. Short and Sweet. Took photos and for the first time since I joined photography club, we have to SHOW and TELL on the photos we took. Of course, criticism is to be expected. Just that I don't like to hear it from some special people. I admit, it was taken without much serious thought, for fun I guess. But ever since you said that about my photo THAT TIME, you just didn't understand. With your level of intellect, seems that it CAN'T BE HELPED. Muahahaha. I also heard lots of nasty things about you. Seems that your 'good friend' didn't really had a good first impression of you too. He finds you very qian bian. Oh well, and I thought you would be different. This is such a bitchy paragraph.

Today is dear Kang Li's birthday! Happy 18! Haha. 18 years had pass by. I wonder how the rest will be like... I feel VERY CLEVER today! Haha. Well the thing is I wanted to have like post-its on a certain place in my room, to remind me of the stuff I need to do. But there's no place that's nice and noticeable enough except my study table. And also I don't have much post-its too. Only lots of small pieces of paper. So... I used blue-tack to stick a METAL ruler on my study lamp(connected to the table, more like built-in) and then used MAGNET to hold those pieces of PAPER! I'm such a GENIOUS! Haha. And the magnets are of MARINE CREATURES! Haha. (Hint 1 : I like marine creatures!)

Recently, my 'old habit' has re-appeared. Sweet nothings are POURING out of my mouth. Okay, maybe they don't find it sweet, more like mushy. They even called me FLIRTATIOUS! Haha. But it's fun is't it, at least well, the mood is lifted! Lalalalala. I don't care. But if you guys really really can't take it, I'll stop. Until Valentine's Day of course. For compass tomorrow, we'll be split into groups according to the personality we have. Mine is ENFP. I guess there's a lot of people with that combination. I wonder what we'll be hearing and doing. Even though I took a lot of personality test, nothing beats knowing it through your daily live. If one could just stop and think about it, the personality is really obvious, just that we don't notice and when something similar hits our face hard, then we realise we are like that. I hope I do not possess some of the characteristics which I don't like but who knows, it will appear one day. Guess I shall try and prevent it now.

This is such a long post! I wanted to write more, but I have homework to do! I LOVE GP!!! Mrs Logan is a GREAT teacher. Not that I dislike GP at any time, just that I love it more now! Haha. I don't mind doing essays, I hate comprehensions. I want to get EXPOSED to more different essays, so I shall not attempt the themes I have done before! =D GP has become such an interesting lesson.

The day I saw you, I couldn't forget your face, your body, YOU.

If only I could hold your hands, look you into the face and say those 3 words.

Life would be such a bliss or would it?

2008-01-19T18:02:00.000+08:00

Reaching for the stars...

Ha. Returned from the Chingay workshop. Slept for 1 hour and first thing I saw when I woke up - my father's black black black face. Reason - unknown. Casualties - 1, my brother. Extent of anger - So far, I would say level 1. It'll escalate soon.

I signed up for the Chingay thing for only 1 purpose - to get my CIP for my testimonial. Seriously, I wonder if there's anybody who went not for that reason. It's practical, Singaporeans are very practical and I don't like it. The way the committee for the Chingay Dream Team tries to spice up the entire voluntary work has kinda been futile It seems naturally getting to know others is the correct and most effective way, not through silly ice-breaking games. Take today for example. My group, US 25 (a bit silly also) , was bored from the usual, overplayed game like - WACKO. So the few enthusiastic J1s introduced other games. Even the boys who looked like they were forced to be there had fun. Haha. Al it takes is just some 'pushers' and the feeling gets going.

I realised I don't have time this weekend. Today, I have the chingay thing, tomorrow, I have to attend my father's R & R gathering , for free bowling games. Talk about being a super CHEAPO. Ok, I admit, theres always the night. But the fact of having to do homework in front of my dad will only mean one thing, scoldings. He'll scold this and that, of how I don't handle my time and blame every other things and not listen. Oh well, I hope to pull it off tonight. Haha. Sometimes, my parents irk me. Role models hey are not, there's like so many things to pick on, and not one good point. Knowing someone too well will only result in the good points being overlooked. Or maybe that only applies to my family. Haha.

January is coming to an end. I can't believe I daringly hope to get all A's for my A level subjects except for Maths. I know I can't do it. So I've decided to follow the advice which I always will not admit it's correct. 'Reach for the stars, even if you fall, you'll land among the clouds.' That's the old-fashioned slogan which I don't really agree. To me, it's more of 'Reach for the clouds because you know you won't fall from there.' I don't think one should strife for the impossible as 'Nothing is Impossible' so that means we are striving for NOTHING. Maybe I am wrong but I won't admit I am wrong. Haha. One trait of Aquarians - Never admit that others are correct. I shall try to aim for the stars this year, at least the lowest star will do.

I'll need a little stardust to help me do that.

2008-01-14T21:31:00.000+08:00

If Only ...

Today, the boys ran 3.8km. Not that I'm proud or what, but it seems my physical state is IMPROVING! Note ! Improving not = GD. Haha. Let's say it was 'extremely bad' last time and now it is only at 'very bad'. I feel lighter. Maybe it's a psychological effect. Cause I really ran/jog for the entire journey. Ok, a little walking here and there but I swear it's not as much as before! Haha.

Watched a video for GP today. Cool sia! The cartoons, the freedom of speech, the blame on government. I wonder how S'pore government might react if a similar video was made. Well, in the first place, it can't be made. Haha. I don't really know 'SouthPark' but I have a little impression of it. Apparently, the author/creator of the cartoon series said something I could connect with. Kids in the US grow up with the teachers and principals drilling them the ideology 'If you are a loser today, you will be a loser for your entire life.' Firstly on my point of perspective, this ideology is REAL and HAPPENING in my family. My parents ask for high standards, especially in academics. Not that I did very badly in exams, just that I did not perform up to THEIR expectations. And the problem is, I don't ask too much of myself. Easy come Easy go. I know, it's hard (very difficult) to survive in such society (esp S'pore) with that kind of attitude. And so I shall try my best. =D

However, I feel that not only my parents had this kind of thinking. How did they get this kind of thinking? What made them think this way? Society? Their parents? Fear? Insecurity? I know the answer and so do they. It's how the way things are. (All this are CRAP)

On a lighter note, I'm just glad Singapore is quite a safe country.

You look at the clouds, I look at the silver lining. Is that self-deception?

I could sit there and watch the sky as the day goes by.

2008-01-10T19:50:00.000+08:00

YES!!!

Wah. I feel so much better after ranting out. And I have to say... TGIF!!! For tomorrow that is. Haha. I had a nap. Somehow I feel more tired after waking up. And I am stuck at econs. Anyone can help?

Chem test is over. Not that I studied for it, not that I expect a double digit after seeing the paper, not that I don't want to go for remedial(I love them), just that... I am too tired ( ok that's an excuse).

The feeling of J2-ness is so weird. I can't believe I'm a J2. And I'm like... this height, this looks, this BOY. I wonder.. how I'll look like when I'm say.... 25? My face seriously tells me I'm a 13 years old BOY. Haha. Wow. And some ladies don't want to look old. Then one day if I have kids, my children will be so ashamed of calling me dad they starts to call me BROTHER! OMG! Ok that's a bit preposterous. Haha. A little imagination won't hurt.

I am going to watch the TV lo! I mean TV programmes. 'Just Shoot 2' this time, there's a guest boy who has been abused by his father. And what daring words he spoke! 'Just you wait, when I grow older, you'll see what I can do to make your life as miserable' In Chinese, something like that. I think it's cool for him to be able to say that in public, especially on National Television, but again, kinda dumb. Cause people will start to call him 'unfilial' and 'bastard' and such. So I think he should just keep it mum. And do the job silently. Haha. I may update again on the show again. So bye bye for now.

2008-01-06T13:40:00.000+08:00

I'm dead.
I really am.
I can't stand it.
Commitment is too much.
It's not my style.

So so so tired.
I don't know why.
Stare at homework.
It stares back.
It's only the start of the year.
I wonder how can I survive.
This is the worst.
Even O level cannot compete.
Can't wait for it to end.
A levels, Studies, Work, LIFE.

It takes so much energy for me to put up that front.
It takes so much to lie to myself.
It takes too much.
A new experience.
One I don't like. At all.

For whom am I doing this for?
I would only know when it's already too late.

2008-01-05T21:46:00.000+08:00

untitled...

Clear sky, humid weather.
Perfect day to be out.
Late, unusual.
Expected happiness disappeared.
Bogged with thoughts.

A blanket of clouds.
Indications of heavens tears.
Joy surrounds.
Yet, was feeling down.
Out of place.
In my own world.
Shown on face.
As leaves falling, swirl.

Time passes by.
Work reminisced.
Fish enjoy freedom.
In their own kingdom.

As the path comes to a stop.
A sweet message.
I do understand.
Thanks for caring.
It's just.
I don't like the start and the end.

It's ok if no one understands. Cause I do. :)

2008-01-04T19:20:00.000+08:00

HECTIC!!!

It's been a really hectic week even though there's only 3 days of school. Feel Very Tired.

Today can be said to be a roller coaster ride for me. Firstly, there's PE. It's Height And Weight Taking. I thought I grew taller. I even convinced myself I am taller. So I went up to measure, and... it's THE SAME AS I TOOK MONTHS AGO!!! I was disappointed at first, then I became scared. What if I gain weight? What if I get into TAF AGAIN!!! What if I stopped growing? I don't want to be at the 'peak' of my life yet!!! Saddened, I went o weigh myself. First digit... 6, then ....(I expected a 5 or above, cause I ate quite a bit during the holidays) a 2!!!! YES!!! I AM SAFE!!! Muahahaha. And so that kinda made my day.

Ms Seah : Are you into TAF again?
Me : Nope, not seeing you anymore!
Ms Seah : Haha. I also don't want to see you!

Ms. Seah is my TAF teacher IC. She's fun and nice.

Then I made my way to the school I spent 4 years in. Today's CCA orientation. So I was invited to go back! Haha. Invited by my juniors lah.
First Shock : 2 other guys who took the same bus as me are also going back to cchms, 1 from TJC, the other from Pioneer JC. A contrast isn't it?
Second shock : A lot of unknown people (not cchms students) are in the school!!!
Third shock : A sea of RED and WHITE shirts appeared in the school! It seems thats the NEW PE attire. The sec 1s can choose to buy either RED or WHITE. The RED is DAMN UGLY. The white still acceptable lah. But, the students and the school is becoming so china and communist. Well at least the shorts is black which is nicer.
Fourth Shock : The CCA teachers got all jumbled up! The teachers in charge now is Ms Adri and Mr Bercury (Ber-cury), an ANGMOH teacher who is very effeminate. Mrs Han got posted to CO and Ms Wee got posted to VOLLEYBALL!
Fifth Shock : The CDC (our rival) booth is just BESIDE ours.

CDC bombed EDS. And so a war started. Screamings from ALL CCAs. Cheers from Guides opposite. A bunch of idiots in green walking around shouting. Basketball Bamboo poles are also on the loose. The councillors are also shouting at the sec 1s to move on quickly like hurrying a group of ghosts in hell and they are the demons. Haha. They look lost and confused. And there's this new weird cleaner who looks like Piglet's deformed dad walking back and forth at the concourse.

'Join EDS! Can SLACK and GO HOME EARLY and use MSN! Very SLACK!!!' Come Join EDS!'
Disgrace. Embarrassed. Worried. That's what is used to attract new members. I guess it's sooner or later the CCA becomes HISTORY.

It's nice to go back and see you guys. Yet the changes is a bit too much. Disappointed with the school and EDS. I could only hope the changes are for the better, not for the worse.

2008-01-02T18:47:00.000+08:00

One Word : Deprived.

The J1s this year has been greatly reduced from my batch. The number of J1s posted or maybe applied for MJC is short of a many handful. For my batch, OGs went up to VIII. Yet, this year. It only went to VI. That's like 2 OGs per house and for every OG, there's say... 20 pupils. And there's 5 houses. That means, a decrease of around 200 students! Well, at least it made my job easier. Yes, I had photography duty, and so I missed lessons and 'class bonding'. Not that my class needs any. It's the new teachers. So there's less people to shoot(Ha. If only I had a GUN. KIDDING). And apparently, they are quite different from us, my batch.

Well, firstly, they are not THAT camera-shy. They won't turn away when there's a camera NEAR them. Also, 1 thing I must admit - their enthusiasm exceeds ours by a huge margin. Another reason might be that the orientation this year seems more... organized. Long and complicated mass dances have been reduced to short and sweet compilations. I would also give thanks to the clear instructions from the councillors. Much clearer than those during 2007, which means not only in orientation. Haha. Then the last item of the day, which is the dress-up of a representative from each OG after gathering the items on TMP(The Meridian Prophecy aka CMI aka Can't Make It - Oops. It's CSI. But I think CMI sounds better.) Balloons became breasts. Plastic cups/bowls became bra. Even a belt became a WHIP. Cardboard were lined with the word 'Censored'. Warriors became transsexuals. Even those that seems to be 'dressed-up' normally = like a warrior, had the voice of Michael Jackson. Not only the guys. The few and real life girls were sexed up too. Let's just say at that age, they are sexually deprived. Not that we went through that phase. Must be a new one.

After an entire day of watching countless cheers and sexed-up catwalk, I am very tired. Not to mention I have homework incomplete. So for now, I shall rest my typing fingers and work my grip on the pen.

2007-12-31T20:02:00.000+08:00

The Last Post . . . . . . Of The Year!

Not that this blog is 1 year old. But it is the last post for 2007! Haha. Simei is such a sleepy town. 31st of December. What did I do? Well, I ate my normal brunch. Used computer and slack and play games for the whole afternoon until my dad woke up and scolded me and my brother for using the computer too much. And once again, he said, to bring my dear sweet LAPPY to his room after 10pm. And so the separation starts. Everyday. From my room, Lappy shall migrate to his when the time comes - 10pm. As I was saying, Simei is so sleepy. There's practically no celebration at Eastpoint, our only shopping mall, and the only countdowns held are one at the Community Centre for CHILDREN and another one beneath the neighbouring block. Right now, there's a lot of aunties singing out-of-tune Karaoke. I do wonder, won't they be counting down to their deaths? Haha. Ok, that's evil.

I can't wait to go out and not being so restrained at home. I could only wished for myself to be at Vivocity or Orchard or SOMEWHERE OTHER THAN HOME and enjoy myself to my heart's content. Life's too short for boredom.

2008. Changes will be happening. But how good are they? I can't say for sure. Like the change of the time my LAPPY wll stay with me. Haiz. He said he will lock up LAPPY!!! I really want to cry le lah! Oh well. Let's just hope something good comes out of 2008.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

2007-12-29T21:04:00.000+08:00

I do wonder.

O levels [Done]
PAE [Done]
Orientation 1 [Done]
Chinese New Year [Done]
JAE [Done]
Orientation 2 [Done]
Birthdays [Done]
Mid Years [Done]
June Hols [Done]
Projext Work [Done] =D
Promos [Done]
Christmas [Done]
December Hols [Almost Done]
HOMEWORK & REVISION [Hmm... When wil I ever get it DONE? ]

Ok. Now to speak my thoughts. This year has been quite BUMPY. If you say it went by fast, I would agree. If its the other way round, I would also agree. It's how you look at it. One thing for sure, I will ALWAYS be amazed at how long I've been in a school and somehow, I never really got to know it. No attachment?

Project work can be said to be the main focus of this year. LOTS OF HARDWORK AND EFFORTS. Not to mention there's problems too. At least I can understand how my seniors felt when they say PW is a Killer. I really really underestimated it before I encountered it. Haha. Beware JUNIORS!!! You have been WARNED!!! But TOO BAD!!! You have to take it!!! Muahahahahaha. Ok, that's evil and lame. Talking about juniors, I heard there's around 20 cchms pupils coming into MC this year. I wonder how many came for PAE for my batch. I think it's lesser. And I know that one of my EDS junior is coming! Haha. Haven seen her for so long even though we live quite near too. So 1 more SIMEI citizen! Haha.

My New Year Resolutions!!!
1) To really really work hard both physically and mentally.
2) To get really really rich!!! (Very hard)
3) Enjoy my last few moments before I go into NS!!!
4) Visit cchms EDS sometimes.
5) well, there's more I cant think of. But If I do, I'll update. Haha.

When in a state of confusion, I try not to advance or retreat. Instead, I stay and ponder about both ways. The heart or the brain?
My welcome note for my handphone : Forget about the past and think about the future. Store the memories and new ones will create.

I've been poisoned.

2007-12-22T22:50:00.000+08:00

50th POST!!!

Ok so this is my 50th post but I have nothing special to blog about. Just that on friday morning, I was so bored that even though Kids Central had moved on to 'My Little KC' which is a special segment of children's shows, I continued to rest my butt and stare at the screen. 'Barney and Friends' was on! This is my first time watching the FULL episode. Well, it's about international fair and how the kids learn more about other countries. And apparently, they SING at every booths. And you can really predict when they are going to sing, because they will be moving into FORMATION. However, I must say, the songs are short and sweet and very catchy. And so I watched on. Until the very end song, 'I love you'.

Somehow, I wish I could go back to being a kid. So young and immature. Whatever mistake you make would be waived by the reason of innocence. Not much pressure from school and friends too. As a kid, I did foolish things too. Come to think of it, I used to cry over missing Power Ranger episodes, often. Even when its my fault that I overslept and missed it, but I still blamed my mum and dad for not waking me up. Haha. I CRIED. I can't believe I cried over a television programme! Oh well, kids. And if my brother missed it too, we both would cry. Haha.

During the kindergarten period, I had most fun too. Except the time I had chicken pox of course. Haiz. Seeing those kids at the PAP kindergarten brings back memories. I remembered I used to play with my brother a lot. A LOT. And I even stooped to his level. Somehow, I was the same age as he was. Silly games and fights. It was those ' You cannot hit me, you hit me, I go tell mummy.' And we really really didn't hit each other. Our worst fight will be when we hurt each others arms or legs but we dun punch or slap. We just hit each other. And often, he'll cry first. And I get the blame. Haha. It's all in the past now. For now, I know how to ACT. I love drama!

One last thing. I found this qoute very catchy ever since some puppet on Sesame Street sang it.

Changes are always happening,

So don't be sad or blue.

Changes can make you happy,

Cause it brings you something new.

2007-12-21T20:46:00.000+08:00

Truth behold~

Ok, so I went overseas AGAIN. And what a turn of situation! At Perth, everything is so modern, new buildings, open spaces, nice locals and also smooth and safe traffic. However, at Penang, attap houses are everywhere, very cramp alleys and sidewalks, rude locals and cheating cabbies and worst of all, disorganised and chaotic traffic. Not to mention their cars are those only seeable at Pulua Ubin Island. I still think Singapore is the BEST.

Shopping was both HELL and Heavenly at the same time. Heavenly was attributed to the cheap yet nice clothes available and also how BIG their SUPERMALL was. Everything can be found there. HELL came from the main breadwinner of the family. Well, how do you find shopping with 2 HUGE eyes staring at you with the thought : You haven't got enough yet? That's the feeling I get there. Also, to make thigs worse, my brother is always trying to UNDERbuy me. I buy 4 shirts, he'll only want 2, no matter how many he like. And apparently, he has a 'quota' everyday. 'To at the most buy a piece of clothing a day'. HA. But who cares?! At the very last day, he bought the most stuff and so he cannot say he bought less than ME. And not that I would wear the clothes he choose anway Muahahahaha. And so since my dad cannot say I buy the most in which I always do in holidays (mainly due to the reason my cousins all focus on quality and not quantity), he tell the whole side, our purchase SUMMARY. No wonder he asked me to list out the things I buy.

Oh well, touring is a pleasure. I like Singapore for the scenery, the life, and mostly everything except.... the pressure. I just realised there's a lot of work to be done.

Class BBQ is well... not as fun as the last one. Less people came and the main star was at JOHOR. Food was leftover as well. The pit is not as good as we thought too. But the company made up for it yet it could have been better if a certain someone who isn't as sweet as her name sounds was there. Haha. Don't be angry hor CANDY.

10 days left~~~ See you guys at school!

2007-12-12T14:09:00.000+08:00

Escape or Boredom?

In front of me is a stack of worksheets for the holiday. And further in front, it is the laptop! On my right, the window in which shows the rain that never stops. I am attracted to turn right and look at the rain. And everytime I do, 5 minutes passed by. Just looking at the rain.

Another 5 minutes just went by.

Is it that I'm bored? Oh well. maybe it's just that I'm trying to escape from reality- the homework. I have restrained myself from watching anime for this morning but I can't guarantee the night. Somehow, this holiday is different than those I spent before. I don't know what's the difference, but it just feels different to me. Like, I wouldn't be typing out a blog post in the past. And I wouldn't have gone on 2 trips in a year. Ok, I am just wasting time here. I have to do work.

Procrastination has become an enjoyment.