::ME::
In a place of voidness, I need colours. Blue, Red, Green.
May the colours tell of a story that will not let me regret.
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Saturday, April 4, 2009
I'm back! For the 2nd time. First bookout did not leave me time to blog and update but this time round, I have a full day of free time!!! I cannot blog anything about NS because I will get punish. So if you wanna know, give me a ring or something. Haha.
A false front is what one needs to survive. One look that gives whatever the audience wants. That is a place where many people put on their MASKS(yes, it's MASK again!)! Never to be left out, I put on mine for show, for leaders, for the 'correct' attitude. A smile, a stare and a loud voice. Survival in the physical level is nothing as compared to that in the psychological warfare thats going on. Stabbings, acting and invisibility are skills one needs to be equipped with in order to stay alive. I cannot deny having used one of the skills mentioned but definitely not the first, unless fate leaves me no choice. In a place where bonds have not taken roots, it is not criminal to put one's self before others. The time is not ripe yet, for me to be sarcrificed for there is no reason worthy enough to do so. When cornered, the cat bares its claws! I am trying to utilize the last skill and stay low while time slowly pass by, until then, low key actions are my game. Yet, with such a flashy name that is so related to what concerns me now, I find it hard to do so. The whole group knows me yet, I know less than half of them. With no responsibility, there will be no eyes upon me. Stand out lesser and people will forget.
Of course there are people who aim to achieve, to please and to climb up the social ladder. Such people do not concern me as they can climb all they want while I stay at the very bottom. Yet there are the certain few who likes to step on those at the bottom in order to climb up. Stepping on fellow comrades to achieve their selfish ambition is what I condemn. Not only do they reach out to those at higher grounds for a helping hand, they make use of those down under and then dispose of them when useless. Such imbeciles needs no mercy when the time for the trial comes.
I realised I am cut off from the mass media while on the island. I only get newspapers when they provide it. And I don't really read them nor do I have that much time too. So whenever I come back to mainland, I see new advertisements, new posters and new programs. It's like a whole new world once again! Now I partly understand how it feels like to live without technology for a week or so.
I must say, the new life has changed me quite a bit. In the thinking level, I got dumber, slower in thinking and quite stupid. Especially so when I put on the turtle shell. This is quite apparent in all JC batches because even our sergeants agree. In the physical level, I got darker(if not, there must be something wrong with my skin), and thinner!!! But my weight never change. I am sure I got thinner because I FEEL THINNER! Hahaha. It's hard to say it in words.
Some people say I am a changed man, I say, I just forgot to take off my mask. That's all.
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