::ME::
In a place of voidness, I need colours. Blue, Red, Green.
May the colours tell of a story that will not let me regret.
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Monday, November 24, 2008
比上不足，比下有余。
My dad used to say that a lot to me, when I was asking why my house doesn't have this nor that, why I am unable to enjoy this or that and why some other people just seem to be happier than me. Of course the tone he used wasn't a warm and nice one but that of a lecture accompanied by a strict glare. That's another matter.
The thing is, I ain't complaining much as I have accepted the fact. Furthermore, I am reminded of how fortunate I am after watching this channel 8 show at 8pm on mondays. It's about families with problems that just cannot be solved overnight. The core problem of the family is health issues, which leads me to believe that the most important wealth is health! (I can go be a promoter of HSA) Of course, the other problem will be the unruly kids they have. Already a poor couple debted with health problems, they had 5 kids, out of which 2 are 'accidents'. There's this kid with such bad manners I might kill him one day(if I'm the younger brother). Ok, that's an exageration or maybe just this tiny lil bit of me that wants to do that. Hahaha. And then Quan Yi Feng said :'All kids start out as a piece of blank paper, they will appear as what you write on them.' Or something like that. Which leads me to believe that actually, not all kids with natural 'tails' are bad(cause I saw this very cute boy-boy whom I choose not to see the 'tail'). Then at the end of the show, that same host said :'Be glad you have such a happy family, able to enjoy mealtimes together.' And I realised she wasn't on such good terms with her husband and that she's in a loveless marriage. And that's how the family wasn't 'poor' after all.
My body is aching like a 80 year old just after one session of light gyming. I am so unfit! I have to shape down(not up, down first haha). Turn into a full time gym rat. Maybe I should invest in protein shakes, wonder if there's strawberry flavoured ones. LOL. Another message my body is telling me is the weird weird feeling I get when I slack nowadays. It is unclear and I am yet to find out the reason. In the past, when I know there's homework to be done, tests to be studied and lessons to be attended, I am able to slack with ease and push all these stuff aside and not worry about it. However, now that I am truly free(am I really?) I have this nagging feeling that somehow, the whole thing hasn't really ended. Maybe it's the results, maybe it's the 'Pre-Uni Syndrome' or maybe it's the lack of responsibilities and work that's been weighing me down in the past. Just like having to carry a heavy weight all this while only to put down everything at one go, you will tend to pick up that weight again.
It's just 4 days after A lvl and it seems so long already! Time pass by just too slowly.
Come to think of it, I wonder why I didn't use my dad's words against him when he's comparing results. HAHAHA.
Theory : What I lack is the feeling of release, as in the first place, I wasn't really held down by academics at all.
Reality : I'm too tired and bored of life.
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