::ME::
In a place of voidness, I need colours. Blue, Red, Green.
May the colours tell of a story that will not let me regret.
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Monday, July 7, 2008
Imagine...
I went for NS medical REVIEW just now, expecting to hear some news which will affect my health status. However, upon reaching, all I did was give some(more) blood and I'm done, heading for home. And to think I spent so much time trying to figure out what other illness or symptoms I have that needs a REVIEW. I was expecting say, crooked backbone, broken left wrist, heart problems or some unknown illnesses(my imagination ran wild). Then after I realised they just needed an extra tube of blood from me, it dawned upon me that they needed to do another test! Or maybe something's wrong with my first blood sample(which they took 3 tubes) that needs to be tested again. Hopefully it's not because someone contaminated my blood or LOST the tube which will be a stupid reason for me to move across half of Singapore just to give blood again.
This situation had happened before. It was when HSA did a medical check-up in school for secondary students and I required FURTHER check-up due to my stunted height. After first extraction of my blood, they claimed that there was low levels of some growth hormone(I suspect is the human growth hormone) and thus require another blood sample to 'double-check'. I still remembered the doctor said something like :'Oh it's nothing serious, don't worry.' And my mum was already asking the price of the hormone injection and the dosage and stuff.
And then on my way home, i thought about the possibilities of situations that may have resulted in doing a test on my blood once more. Maybe I've got leukaemia, or maybe it's the same reason as the one done by HSA. Does stunted growth give me a handicap status? Haha. I even thought further about the previous case. Leukaemia. If I have less than 6 months to live, what would be the result of those 6 months? Will I stop school? Or maybe I shall continue to attend like a lifeless zombie as normal and hide my condition from most people? I will really really give up on my studies and attend school just for the sake of taking up time where my family won't be free. Also to see my friends for the last time until I move on, not in life. Will I cry? Will I be so devastated with the end of my life before I've done anything major? Will my life in this world leave an impact, at all? I thought about all these stuff on my way home. And then when I reached home, my brother said to me : "Eh, some guy who has a terminal illness is on OPRAH now, talking about how he handles the news and stuff leh. Damn sad." How nice.
I don't really require answers to those questions. Or maybe I already have them, just not ready to face them. Life is so short. Many people dying without any reason, there's even Sudden Cardiac Arrest. I also read about Spontaneous human combustion where people or living things just go up in flames, suddenly. So many ways of death that happens to humans for no reason. Is God punishing us by giving us more ways to die, or is it a self-inflicted situation by ourselves that which we haven't learn our lessons? Life is full of mystery.
Moving onto FOOD, my favourite part of life I will surely miss in the AFTERLIFE. Haha. I was sending my GC for repair when I took a stroll at the Basement of Bugis Junction. To call it rudely, i would name it Sin Junction. It's a place where Sins of Humans gather. Top on the list will be GLUTTONY. The abundance of food stalls sends a wave of temptation(smell) towards me when I went up the escalator, before I even SEE any food. If my stomach has a mouth, it'll be screaming at every food stall I passed by. There were pastries, confectionery, yakitori, otah, fried stuff and lots and lots of goodies. If the thought of $68 that will be spent on my GC did not stop me, heaven knows how much I will spend to stuff myself. Even the thought of eating so much now makes me fat(fatter). Hence with so much choice, GREED overtook my mind and I spent $2 on 2 chicken Bulgogi sticks(Korean satay). And before I change my mind to spend more, I moved out of Bugis Junction to sink my teeth into the chicken satay. Haha. It was DELICIOUS!!! And after eating, the next sin is ENVY. Because I envy those other shoppers that have the CASH to spend on such indulgence. And with envy, there comes WRATH. I was angry at this family that took so long to decide on what to eat and hence wasted my time when I just wanted 2 chicken satay!!! Another Sin came into me when I saw the beauty and attractiveness of the chairs there. SLOTH. Not that I don't experience it now and then, but well, it just so happens at Bugis too.( It's one of the minor sins, as told by Wikipedia.) After I ate my sticks, PRIDE consumed me because I was proud that I didn't waste my money on some disgusting food and also resisted to spend no more than $2!!!!! LUST didn't really came into my mind unless you count lust for the food as a true form of LUST. Haha. Someday, we really should go and EAT. Maybe instead of SIN Junction, it should be TEMPTATION JUNCTION. There's lots of shopping too!
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