::ME::
In a place of voidness, I need colours. Blue, Red, Green.
May the colours tell of a story that will not let me regret.
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Monday, November 26, 2007
Monday...
Today is a monday. A monday where I go to school, not to study. To meet friends. How do one define friends? I feel like writing an essay. Haha. There was this email going around about how different a 'friend' is from a 'true friend'. Some of the points may be true, but I disagree to most of the stuff. Maybe those happens in other open-minded countries but I hardly see such 'behaviour' in S'pore. Or maybe, I just don't have true friends. The latter is highly impossible for I do believe I found 'true friends' or so I believe. Sometimes, I just don't want to think too much into something which is unstable or maybe one-sided. I have made mistakes and the resulting me is from all the lessons learnt.
There is this inner voice. Maybe in everybody. It's like sometimes, when you do an action and then the 'inner voice' will starts to tell you what will happen and so on.
'You will fail. You know it. But you still try.'
'It's impossible. Just give up.'
'You are already regretting it. Don't ignore it.'
Is this conscience? It's like taking exams. And then you can't do the paper at all. And you know. You didn't study enough. Well, that's the case for me. I know I did not try my best. I know I should. But did I? I ignore the voice, I ignore the regrets, I try not to remorse and just accept. Is this what one calls a 'reflection'? For I will still be the same even after I type this post.
There are times when I think of the past. And then I realised such a fool I was. For every action that came with a reaction. I have learnt. The phrase 'to not put all of your eggs in one basket' is so true. For I learnt, to keep some eggs in my own hands.
I dare not have hope.
I dare not wish much.
I dare not promise.
I dare not entrust.
I dare not believe.
I just leave it as it is.
3 days to leaving...
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